The Deep Waters of Grief
Each stage is a season, bringing both a blessing and a shadow.
How you fare through the transition is a matter of perspective and choice.
And of course, it helps to reach out to compassionate hearts
and kind hands to help you on your way.
A merciful temporary shield of protection.
An insulating numbness,
protecting your psyche from the magnitude of what just happened,
Denial mercifully allows you retain the strength needed to step up
and do what needs to be done in this, your most immediate hour of need.
Denial can be so deceptively comforting you may be tempted to stay here forever.
Don’t stay cocooned here too long, or you’ll miss out on the rest of your life.
A catalyzing, actionable energy.
Anger brings with it the ability to effect powerful change in split-seconds.
Misdirected through ignorance, blame or imperfect perception,
Anger can damage and destroy a sensitive, fragile new beginning,
plunging all back into depths of despair.
An opportunity for introspection.
Bargaining allows you to look at all the angles of your tragedy,
and realize the magnitude of the part you played in each scene.
Such conscious awareness can enlighten the soul for the highest and best good.
Endless examination of what went right and what went wrong,
and all the “coulda’s, woulda’s, and shoulda’s”
that may or may not have been done differently
can imprison you, powerlessly, in the past.
Stabbed and wounded,
Depression becomes your respectable retreat, your safe space,
where you are allowed to process this epic truth –
Your Life, as you knew it, will never be the same.
Do not fear the pain.
Even embrace it.
Fully feel the twisting blade of despair,
And share your anguish with a trusted, nonjudgmental soul.
Only then, when the magnitude of your loss is fully validated,
will the sharpness soften and the tide recede and you discover
there is rest and renewal to be found in these quiet depths.
Excessive indulgence in Depression can become endlessly disabling.
Do not succumb to the temptation to wield Depression
as a weapon of self-pity against your present and your future,
for left unchecked, it will steal your ability to love,
and that, my dear, would be the greatest tragedy of all.
Oh blessed is the day when you awaken from sorrow and hear a song of joy again!
Acceptance peeps slowly, gently, up through the receding pain,
Just tiny moments of awareness seeking sunlight through snow frozen field.
You still breathe the breath of life.
And alive, enlightened by the lessons, you can choose to walk more meaningfully.
Defeat is the shadow side of Acceptance.
Giving up is the sin.
The true sorrow is if you let the pain dim the light of your soul
and the world loses you… and your purpose… and your natural expression of joy.
Yes, you were horribly hurt.
Yes, you felt powerless in your pain.
Yes, it happened to you.
But you are not alone.
You did not drown.
In avoiding the shadows and embracing the blessings contained in this prose,
you can climb into the ship of compassion
to safely cross the seas of change.
“Meditative insights flow through me and around me and as me…
something akin to the relationship between the sand and the sea.
If I don’t record them in words,
they are washed away with the next wave of energy.
Yesterday I experienced a beautiful dream,
in which I was cleaning a marquise diamond lens that projects my soul into form…
using a special cloth that picks up and removes every smudge of distortion.
Speaking compassion phrases as I performed this labor of love,
I was able to thoroughly clean every facet of the gem – front, back, side, top, bottom…
It became so squeaky clean that divine light shown through in pristine brilliance….
Then suddenly it seemed there was another diamond crystal lens…
An infinite multiplicity of diamond crystals shining soul light into form…
as innumerable as the sands of the sea…
Then came the realization that these all exist inside of me,
reflected and embodied in every component of every cell….
Divine light exists within me – beautiful liquid soul light embodied into form….
As I saw these in my mind’s eye,
I also received a physical flow of waves of spirit inside of me…
from the tips of my toes to the crown of my head…
Thank you, thank you, thank you…
Jo Lyn Cornelsen
“Do more of what makes your soul happy” I read.
What makes my soul happy? I asked?
I feel so differently than I did just a few months ago…
What with clearing away all the karmic distortions…
the ancestral dramas and traumas…
The old fears I felt for so many years….
The emotions that drove me then no longer affect me now.
Now… I feel just – blank.
Hoping this is just a resting space…
That soon – my soul will realize it is free and begin to shine….
Divine Compassion from The Still Small Voice
Humbly, after a sleepless, anguished night,
I dared to invite God into my meditation.
I view God as my Heavenly Father,
and I as one of his daughters…
– a “Divine Spark” so to speak.
Daughters should be able to speak to their parents, right?
To say what ever is in their hearts?
To seek guidance, comfort and encouragement?
To be protected and loved?
Yes, sweet one.
It is okay to talk to me.
I am always here for you.
Dear God, I asked, anguished,
Am I on track?
Am I progressing through this world of tears,
As I was meant to do?
Yes, you are.
But sometimes – it just hurts so much.
I feel like I’ve lost my way.
You knew this would happen.
You wanted to grow.
These experiences are your lessons.
Okay,okay. I get that.
No whining. Toughen up.
But, sometimes I feel so far away.
Sometimes, I just can’t hear your voice.
Sometimes, I feel like I’m walking through the darkness.
I’ve been struggling so hard, trying to fight my way back.
Aching to feel you near.
Because, when I feel you touch my heart,
No pain is too sharp.
No sorrow is too deep.
No sacrifice too great.
No path is too difficult.
Aligned with the Divine, I am whole.
Separate, I am bereft.
I am so sorry.
I am so sorry for all the hurts.
I am so sorry for all the confusion.
I am so sorry for all the sorrows.
I am so sorry for all the separation.
I am so sorry it feels like I am so far away.
I am so sorry you have forgotten your Divine Self.
I am so sorry you have forgotten how to hear the truth within.
I am so sorry some lessons seem so harsh.
I am so sorry some lessons take so long to learn.
I am so sorry you have to ask if it’s okay to talk to me.
You are so loved.
Learn to listen to the truth inside you…
Learn to discern the difference between
the fearful emotions of your worldly self
and the calm, peaceful confidence in your Divine Self.
Listen, Listen, to the Still, Small Voice.
Nature’s Seasonal Compassion
“Nature, in seasonal compassion,
Gracefully releases autumn’s leaves
To be swept away in anticipation
Of the long night of winter.”
– Jo Lyn Cornelsen 10/13/2017
The Compassion Component
I am finding that adding a compassion component to ancestral healing processes softens my frustration
at having to face the empathic and organic pain that shows up in my own body.
In other words – I realized that though I am able to use holistic healing processes
to identify and release the pain and underlying emotions,
I still held resentment and resistance toward the pain and the process.
Sometimes I have railed against my ancestors.
Sometimes against God.
Most often, against myself for not already being perfect enlightenment in form.
Yesterday, I was able to let go and simply accept what is.
And my body began to relax on a deeper level.
This morning I awoke after an unusual 8 full hours of continuous sleep,
with a feeling of being whole in body, mind and spirit.
It felt so amazing that I didn’t want to move.
So I just breathed deeply, focusing on my heart space,
treasuring the feeling of being one with the Divine…
Until my body let me know it was time to get up and go…
Thank you for listening.