I experienced a “storm” of physical pain a few days ago…
I worked on clearing as much trapped emotional energy as I could, and awoke this morning knowing someone else I needed to forgive…for their actions of harshness and disrespect toward me about 11 years ago…
which caused me excessive emotional, financial and professional pain and distress…
This was someone I trusted by virtue of a position of church authority and their medical profession…
Someone who sought me out for my professional knowledge and skills,
Who would not allow his wife to provide the needed care for his father
who was suffering from severe dementia…
(urine soaked socks in the pantry, aggravated Sundowners syndrome, packing his belonging to leave every evening, wandering away and more…)
But this man (my client’s son) thought nothing of imposing it all upon me,
as if he was doing me a favor by allowing me to slave 24/7
and expecting cut rate pricing by virtue of our church association.
Long story short…
I “made it through that rain”…
It was an experience of compassion for the client,
and of setting boundaries with someone in “authority”
(even though I was scared)
Of standing up for myself and insisting on payment…
but I was left with a bitter taste in my mouth –
great disillusionment and loss of respect for this person,
who was so greatly revered in his church position.
This occurred so long ago I thought I had cleared it.
I haven’t thought of it in years, as both they and we have moved,
and this person is no longer in my local church community.
So I thought it was gone and forgotten…
Yet apparently, resentment remained stuck in my energy field.
And this morning,
my soul revealed it to me.
I must forgive.
I don’t want to forgive.
He hurt me.
He shouldn’t have done that.
He scared me.
He was in the wrong.
He disrespected me.
He treated me abominably.
He treated me like shit.
He respected and protected his wife’s sensibilities,
but did not respect me.
He did not value my professional skills.
He was horrible to me.
I no longer respect him.
Do I have to respect him?
Have I forgiven him?
Is there any reason why should I forgive him?
For your own healing.
But I don’t know how to do it.
When I think of him I get a taste of bitter gall in my throat.
I want to vomit.
Will I feel better if I forgive him and let go of the resentments?
Has this hidden, forgotten resentment been blocking my healing?
Can I let it go now?
I’m not sure how…
Do I let it go just like I let go of any other old blocked emotion?
Ok… here goes…
Thank you, thank you, thank you…
It is done, it is done, it is done.
I got up, dressed, walked to the car, drove to the gym, did an hour of water aerobics, came home safely without struggle..
and all without pain.
If forgiveness works this well…
I shall be searching my soul for more that needs to be forgiven.
Thank you for witnessing my blessing…
Next Day’s Morning Meditation:
Shards and Shrouds…
Releasing Old Resentments yesterday opened a floodgate for more. This morning, did some basic full body presence breathing and a body scan. There were a few gentle pressures – back of my neck and top of my shoulders, and my feet and calves – that needed underlying ancestral emotions released (1 generation back – my dear sweet mother)…
Easily released by identifying and releasing the underlying trapped emotion of ancestral confusion…. many instances….
There is something else…
I intuitively scanned with my golden energy sieve and pulled out some sharp energy shards.
Do I need to know what these are?
No. Just rejoice that they are gone.
Is it time to get up now?
Great – I get to relax more and breathe.
Is there more resentment buried inside me somewhere that needs to be released?
Is there an underlying reason for it?
Do I need to know more about it?
How do I release it? Like I release other trapped emotions?
Do I polish it away with Compassion?
Do I just reach in and pull it out of me?
And give it to God?
In my mind’s eye, I imagined reaching my left hand into my soul heart space, grabbing hold of the energy of resentment, and pulling out of me…
It came out as a diaphanous grayish orb …
about 10 inches in diameter…
I opened my hand and it sat there a while on my palm….
Then it changed, shifting into a life sized, human body shape of translucent energy –
I had pulled out a whole energy shroud…
as if the resentment had resided inside me as an cognizant being… a separate entity of its own….
And then it was gone.
Just a lightness of spirit.
Did it go to you, God?
Is there more?
May I receive more of your golden divine light now?
Breathing in the light.
Now… is it time to get up?
Thank you, thank you, thank you….
Dear Soul Friends…
For letting me share my meditations with you. <3
“Meditative insights flow through me and around me and as me…
something akin to the relationship between the sand and the sea.
If I don’t record them in words,
they are washed away with the next wave of energy.
Yesterday I experienced a beautiful dream,
in which I was cleaning a marquise diamond lens that projects my soul into form…
using a special cloth that picks up and removes every smudge of distortion.
Speaking compassion phrases as I performed this labor of love,
I was able to thoroughly clean every facet of the gem – front, back, side, top, bottom…
It became so squeaky clean that divine light shown through in pristine brilliance….
Then suddenly it seemed there was another diamond crystal lens…
An infinite multiplicity of diamond crystals shining soul light into form…
as innumerable as the sands of the sea…
Then came the realization that these all exist inside of me,
reflected and embodied in every component of every cell….
Divine light exists within me – beautiful liquid soul light embodied into form….
As I saw these in my mind’s eye,
I also received a physical flow of waves of spirit inside of me…
from the tips of my toes to the crown of my head…
Humbly, after a sleepless, anguished night,
I dared to invite God into my meditation.
I view God as my Heavenly Father,
and I as one of his daughters…
– a “Divine Spark” so to speak.
Daughters should be able to speak to their parents, right?
To say what ever is in their hearts?
To seek guidance, comfort and encouragement?
To be protected and loved?
Yes, sweet one.
It is okay to talk to me.
I am always here for you.
Dear God, I asked, anguished,
Am I on track?
Am I progressing through this world of tears,
As I was meant to do?
Yes, you are.
But sometimes – it just hurts so much.
I feel like I’ve lost my way.
You knew this would happen.
You wanted to grow.
These experiences are your lessons.
Okay,okay. I get that.
No whining. Toughen up.
But, sometimes I feel so far away.
Sometimes, I just can’t hear your voice.
Sometimes, I feel like I’m walking through the darkness.
I’ve been struggling so hard, trying to fight my way back.
Aching to feel you near.
Because, when I feel you touch my heart,
No pain is too sharp.
No sorrow is too deep.
No sacrifice too great.
No path is too difficult.
Aligned with the Divine, I am whole.
Separate, I am bereft.
I am so sorry.
I am so sorry for all the hurts.
I am so sorry for all the confusion.
I am so sorry for all the sorrows.
I am so sorry for all the separation.
I am so sorry it feels like I am so far away.
I am so sorry you have forgotten your Divine Self.
I am so sorry you have forgotten how to hear the truth within.
I am so sorry some lessons seem so harsh.
I am so sorry some lessons take so long to learn.
I am so sorry you have to ask if it’s okay to talk to me.
You are so loved.
Learn to listen to the truth inside you…
Learn to discern the difference between
the fearful emotions of your worldly self
and the calm, peaceful confidence in your Divine Self.
Listen, Listen, to the Still, Small Voice.
Guidance received on May 23, 2017:
“You are hereby authorized to be all that you were meant to be,
to do all that you desire to do, and to create all that is in you to create. This authority is vested in you by divine right from the Great Creator of All Things…”
I am enough.
I have healed enough.
I have cleared enough.
I know it.
God knows it.
My heart knows it.
I am ready.
And the universe is showing me how…
Across my desk a few weeks ago came a message from Jeff Goins, a writer’s coach,
entitled “Seven Ways to Power Up”. Jeff says:
1. Get out of your own way.
2. Filter out distractions vs your path.
3. Know who you really are.
4. Become discerning – ramp up your intuition.
5. Open up to new perspectives.
6. Respect yourself.
7. Be clear in your meaning, focus and purpose.
I realized that since my previous business life imploded,
I have been consciously working on all those things.
Jeff just outlined my process in seven succinct steps.
And I was nearly ready…
But I needed a number eight.
I needed one more thing…
I needed permission…
Years ago, when my outer world crashed, I lost my inner compass.
I lost my sense of who I was and what I was here to do.
I lost my sense of being valued in the world I lived in.
My sense of self-trust wavered.
Though my troubles were minuscule compared to some,
They were huge in my perspective.
When you’re in the middle of the pit of trauma and drama,
It can feel impossible to climb out.
Life is not an event, until it’s over.
While we’re still in human form, life is a process, a work in progress.
The world around us changes.
Sometimes it chews us up and spits us out.
Then we can choose.
Do we give up?
Well, maybe. Sometimes. Usually. Of course. YES. For a while, anyway.
As human’s it can take some time to process life events.
It’s natural to grieve what’s lost, especially when it was something we loved, sacrificed for, or identified with.
Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
We flail around in these stages of grief, resisting and processing change.
But “The only thing constant in this world is change.”
This world was not designed to be perfect – it was designed to provide opportunities for growth.
That’s why, “the poor will always be with us” – because something is always hitting the fan somewhere on this planet.
Whomever is rich one moment may be poor the next. Those in power now may be in disgrace later.
Those who are strong, wealthy and charitable, may experience devastating circumstances and become needy.
That’s why we are given guidance such as, “thou shalt not judge”, and “as I have loved you, love one another”.
The Great Creator knew we would need help, support, and comfort
to get through the tough stuff with our faith and hope intact or restored…
and we can do it – we can pass through this “vale of tears” and come out on the other side
more humble, teachable, grateful, accepting, allowing, peaceful,
and strong and passionate in our purpose.
It took me some time to wade through the pain and reorient to a new life situation.
What I had perceived as loss was simply a blessing – an opportunity to learn different life lessons,
though at first, I did not see it that way.
I learned that I had much spiritual cleansing to do, and I am grateful that the Spirit works gently and lovingly.
I am grateful for all the earth angels that helped me through my pain and back onto a divinely led path.
I have learned that when fully aligned with the divine, I can be at peace in the midst of chaos –
“in the world but not of the world”.
Peace gives rise to gratitude. Gratitude empowers strength.
Strength inspires purpose. Purpose, fully lived, blooms into joy.
May we each become more whole, more of our best selves, and thus see life through new eyes.
“Permission Granted”, came the message.
“You are hereby authorized to be all that you were meant to be,
to do all that you desire to do, and to create all that is in you to create. This authority is vested in you by divine right from the Great Creator of All Things”
The message is clear. We have been given permission from the Almighty,
the Great Creator of Heaven and Earth, to choose what we will be, and do, and have.
The power is in you to say yes to yourself.
I pray that you will be encouraged to choose life and light over darkness and despair.
Say yes to life, yes to love, and yes to living your gifts.
Churches still play a primary role in the lives of millions across the world. Some say they can be spiritual without religion. Some use religion inappropriately to force political or economic agendas. Others, on their path to alignment with the Divine, remain true to pure religion, as a structure to continually expand their spirituality and connection with Divine Love and the Great Creator of All Things.
Tony Robbins taught that water, as a powerful cleansing and healing element, needs structure to be useful. This structure could be found in the form of a water glass, a pail, a faucet, a bathtub and more.
The cleansing and healing energy of Spirit can also be more powerful through the structure provided by the practice of pure religion, including church attendance, prayer, study of sacred scripture, meditation, faith, and loving service freely given.
I am grateful to my parents, who had the presence of mind to teach me about religion, take me to church and introduce me to the practice of spirituality.
May you be blessed on your path to spiritual awakening, and embody the teaching, “Love One Another” (like I was taught in Sunday School at age three).
The following email message showed up in Mother’s inbox today – which prompted this post. It reminded me of the children’s finger play I was taught as a child, and with which I entertained my little ones on the way to church:
“Here’s the church and here’s the steeple, open the door and see all the people, close the door and hear them pray, open the door and they’ve all gone away.”
“Here’s the Church” by Kathy Fincher
“A Church-goer wrote a letter to the editor of a newspaper, complaining that it made no sense to go to church every Sunday. He wrote: “I’ve attended for 30 years now, and in that time I have heard something like 3,000 sermons, but for the life of me, I can’t remember a single one of them.
So, I think I’m wasting my time, the preachers and teachers are wasting theirs by giving sermons at all”.
This started a real controversy in the “Letters to the Editor” column. Much to the delight of the editor, it went on for weeks until someone wrote this clincher: “I’ve been married for almost 30 years now. In that time my wife has cooked some 32,000 meals. But, for the life of me, I cannot recall the entire menu for a single one of those meals. But I do know this: They all nourished me and gave me the strength I needed to do my work. If my wife had not given me these meals, I would be physically dead today. Likewise, if I had not gone to church for nourishment, I would be spiritually dead today! When you are DOWN to nothing, God is UP to something! Faith sees the invisible, believes the incredible & receives the impossible! Thank God for our physical and our spiritual nourishment!”
Thank you to all who have contributed to my spiritual growth and nourishment.
Here’s the best link I can find for Kathy Fincher’s amazing artwork:
Today, a SoulTalk client, seeking more help,
reached out and shared some very private information with me.
I am honored to be so trusted.
I do not know all things, but I am blessed with some measure of gifts
with which I can intuitively help others.
I was guided to encourage her to read the book,
Power vs Force, by Dr. David R. Hawkins.
It is available on Amazon and in other bookstores.
Reading Power vs Force will introduce to your psyche an understanding
of vibrational existence… and simply by reading it, your vibrational frequencies
will elevate exponentially, thus helping you begin to feel better.
The premise is, the higher our vibrational frequency,
the closer to the Divine we become.
This is illustrated in the Map of Consciousness.
There are many more things I can share with you…
But it is best to take them one step at a time.
You have the power within yourself to make any and all changes you wish to make.
The challenging experiences of life are all blessings,
as they are presented to us for our learning and growth.
Your endeavor to heal means that you are beginning to awaken
and grow beyond the lower levels of awareness.
May you see yourself as God sees you…
My Facebook friend Linda Rasmussen was inspired to post her Sacrament healing prayer in the healer’s group we are both in. She said that while the Sacrament is being passed during Church, she visualizes the Lord being there, and and that she really talks to Him about each of these things. I like her words because, to me, they encompass so many things I have studied and learned in energy healing… and in all this, she honors the Lord as the Source of All Creation and Healing. With Linda’s permission, I share it here, knowing that those meant to read it and be blessed herein will find it:
“This is My Sacrament prayer and was commanded to share it here. It is sacred to me and I have never shared it before. Please hold it sacred and make it your own words if you choose to partake….
Please untangle me from negativity, and release me from the grips of lower energies.
Please shine divine light to give me relief from heaviness, and to carry away any false ego-based feelings, stories, or memories that I’ve been holding onto.
I loosen my grip, and let You fully guide and support me.
Help me to Release all my dysfunction and pain; sever cords not for my highest good and strengthen my cords to Thee and Thy Father, the most high God and those that are for my highest good.
I ask that you release me from the trial of abuse, scarcity, and trauma and all other trials I am ready to release.
I also ask for help gathering all my shattered pieces, crystals, heart, and soul pieces, and to cleanse and heal them and place them where they belong.
Please evolve me to my next highest self that I am ready to become now.
Please fill any emptiness inside of me.
I also ask Thee to do this for my mother, father, husband and each of my children and grandchildren and brothers and sisters, ancestors and descendants, forward and backwards, side to side.
Also I ask Thee to do this for each child I teach, and for everyone in my ward partaking of the Sacrament who is willing to accept.
Please also do this for each person I have stewardship for as they are willing Help me to know how to meet the needs of each of my children, each child I work with and each child I teach. Help me to reach their hearts.
I also chose to release any darkness and attachments I have that do not help me serve to my full capacity.
Dear Heavenly Father, I ask to be released from all oaths, vows, contracts, covenants and agreements of every variety and karma as Thou understands it that is not in alignment with Thee.
I command through the atonement of Christ that these be released, closed and nullified.
I pray that these sites where they were stored be cleansed with the Holy Ghost and infuse them with the Light of Christ.
I also pray that all oaths, vows, contracts, covenants and agreements of every variety and karma as Thou understands it that IS in alignment with Thee be updated, cleansed and healed, that there be no darkness in them.
I pray for all of this through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, Amen.”
Recently I intuitively received a new question to ask when clearing trapped emotions:
Along with checking which emotion it is,
and which ancestor it came from,
I am now to ask:
“Do I need to know how many?”
If yes, sometimes I discover multiple instances of the same emotion,
and am given to know whether or not they can be cleared all at once.
Also, I have been physically feeling offensive energies not my own…
attached not to me, but to my dead ancestors.
Today I released an energetic saboteur – a spear –
from a Mother 11 generations back. It felt as if the spear was in my own body…
stabbing through my left bicep and all the way
from left to right through the trunk of my body,
coming out through my right kidney….
There was so much pain I could not stand up straight and walk.
I’ve been doing a bit of Yoga, so I thought the soreness was simply from increased exercise,
But the pain, intense and debilitating,
was out of proportion to my mild physical exertion.
So bothersome it is to not be able to easily stand up and walk
that I finally stopped and asked,
“Is this a saboteur”?
“Is it a hidden saboteur”?
Then I understood… and took care of it.
This process called energy healing is quite intuitively instructive.
I have learned that evil spirits (in addition to other offensive energies like saboteurs and curses)
can stay attached to the spirits of the mortal humans they persecuted in life,
even after death. I have cast out evil spirits off and away from ancestors
so the ancestors could be free to find their way to the light.
One such instance was so visually graphic…
twenty-one spirits with evil intent resisted leaving
spewing away in a whirling dervish of anger and gnashing of teeth…
They did not want to go to the light… but they knew they must,
when in my intercessory prayer, I called upon the name of the Savior. I sent them to the Light to be accountable before God….
Sometimes in this work, evil spirits seek to attack or oppress me…
Again, it is usually in form of some physical pain…
Or an untoward extreme and unusual emotion.
I do not seek to contend with them,
Nevertheless, I am unafraid, as God has given mankind
the power to overcome evil, through choice.
Evil spirits are those who did not keep their first estate,
but in fear, chose to oppose their Creator in the pre-mortal world,
thus losing their opportunity to receive a physical body here.
In their frustrated anger and jealousy,
they attempt to thwart the progression of those who did come
to receive physical bodies and have a learning experience here on earth.
These, in their anger, attempt to keep me from sending souls to God.
But the joke is on them…
because I send THEM to the light…
where they must be accountable to God….
I like to think that God, being both just and merciful,
has prepared a place for them, too.
I have also sent millions of wayward spirits to the Light…
those spirits of souls who stayed here after death,
not knowing where to go.
These announce their existence through a word in my mind,
or an intuitive impression, but more often in the form
of unusual or unexpected aches or pains in my physical body.
Physical pain is not my preference for becoming aware of their presence,
nonetheless, the method does work.
I cannot NOT pay attention….
Sometimes I tire of it all and I ask,
Can they do this for themselves?
Yes, they can.
Then why am I asked to do this?
For your learning and growth.
Other times, the answer is No,
these cannot do it for themselves,
They died knowing nothing of God or the Light,
and have spent eons adrift,
waiting for lightworkers who have learned enough to to be able to guide them.
Some died in darkness, and need release and resolution
to free them from offensive energies or trapped emotions
which they experienced in their mortal life.
When ready, they find me or another lightworker such as I,
drawn to the portals of Light created in our process of healing ourselves
and all generations past, present and future.
Ancient scripture states, “Seek and ye shall find.”
And they come, one by one or in the millions, seeking the Light.
I say, turn and look, and they see it… Go to the Light, is the command. Be received by the Great Creator of All Things.
Go, and discover the next step of your own soul’s progression,
Go, and seek your Salvation, your happiness
through the Great Creator of All Things.
This visual is joyful.
I see them welcomed into the outstretched arms of the Lord,
guided by angels who patiently await their coming.
Sometimes I receive intuitive messages from specific ancestors…
or I must clear multiples of hidden emotions and I wonder why so many…
At times I grow weary. Do I need to set limits and boundaries on the work, and just say no?
Can I just simply clear what needs to be cleared for my own self,
and be done with all this energy clearing and able to get on with my life?
I can take a break.
I breathe deeply, grateful for this breath that sustains my life,
Then ask, “is there more to clear right now?”
Yes… And then I discover there is just one more… Just one… which is my own… and in humble gratitude of personal discovery, I am able to let it go.
I am finding that my life experiences give ample opportunity for me to practice wholeness.
Events that used to trigger fear in me are now simply practice opportunities.
The more old energies I clear away,
the greater my personal power to simply be myself…
to increase and hold to a greater frequency of energy,
and remain in calm confidence
amidst the seeming chaos of this universe.
Oh the amazing world of energy healing….
I am learning so much,
and I am so very grateful for this work.
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you.
It is done, it is done, it is done.