Soul Writer – Conscious Curiosity

Soul Writer – Conscious Curiosity

Dear Higher Self, what knowledge do you have for me today?
Hello Dear one. Ah – you seek knowledge – yes.
You are becoming. Always becoming.
You are on of those souls with insatiable curiosity.
You want to experience absolutely everything so that you will KNOW.
Well, have you experienced enough of what you have created this time around?
No.
Not yet.
I thought not.
There is more for you to do and feel and learn and experience here in this realm.
You wonder if you can heal your body though consciousness.
The answer is yes.
But the body has its own intelligence – its own consciousness,
as do each one of your body’s individual cells …
They each have their own sensibilities and processes and habits…
All of which vibrate at their specific frequencies…
And sometimes, there is harmony among them, and sometimes – sometimes not.
So to heal through consciousness, you will need to create coherence
among all those vibrational frequencies…
to bring all of them into alignment with together – with a higher frequency overall.
Coherence. Harmony.
Let your cells and systems and all aspects of your consciousness harmonize.
The wholeness of joy cannot be forced.
They must be invited.
How do you invite the vibrations of harmony and wholeness so your body can heal?
Make it easy for them to show up.
Invite them to remember their original blueprint for health and strength and capacity,
Then clean up the path so they can find their way back to that sense of well being,
of authentic wholeness.
Be still.
Notice.
Choose that which nourishes life and love and light.
Be still.
Know God.
Be One.

Soul Purpose

Soul Purpose

The soul experiences life as an evolutionary process… we come into this world as helpless innocents, but taking on the inheritance of the accumulated experiences of our ancestors.

As we develop, we learn to adapt our perceptions and ultimately, beliefs, to the story and social structures of the the family and the community we find ourselves in to survive.

To the extent that our early nurturing is supportive and congruent, we grow up healthy, capable and resilient.

To the extent that our childhood is traumatic… we experience the results of adverse childhood experiences and developmental trauma – and find ourselves in hyper-reactiveness, self-limiting beliefs, mis-trust, and a myriad of other attributes that keep us from fully living our gifts and realizing a feeling of life satisfaction and joy ….

Yet regardless of the adversities of life, our soul is always “on-purpose”. In times of adversity, it can be helpful to remember who you truly are… as a divine being in the midst of a physical human experience… for the purpose of soul-growth, personal empowerment, and inner peace.

For me, healing has been a ten year journey of learning how to connect, discern, surrender, express, and set healthy boundaries. I’ve discerned five key components for empowered meditative soul expansion – when I leave any of these components out of my sessions, my results are limited. When I include all 5, my results are expanded exponentially.

https://benevivi.teachable.com/p/energy-healing-success-secrets

I was led to create this mini-course to share what I’ve learned.
I hope you find it helpful on your own soul purpose journey.

Blessings of love and light to you…
Jo Lyn

Closet Clutter Clearing Therapy

Closet Clutter Clearing Therapy

Closet Clutter Clearing Therapy…

“We’re in contract.”

One sentence that culminates a whirlwind search for where to live when my husband retires.
It began with a one day trip to the beach at Ocean Shores,
where my husband indulged my need to stare at the ocean with my feet in the sand for 5 long blessed hours….
Something I’ve been craving since Mother passed.
And then a short drive around the peninsula…
A discovery of a new fun beach development…
Sandy lots available at just $15,000 each…
and a flicker of hope in my subconscious mind..
That maybe, just maybe, despite the 2008 crash and subsequent losses…
Maybe, just maybe, we could have our own little place again…
And maybe it would be a bungalow at the beach…

Or not…

A few conversations with realtors and mortgage brokers,
and we were amazed to be “invited” back into the world of the living…
Where people who are considered trustworthy are offered mortgages to buy houses…
We are invited to get back into debt.
Imaginations ran wild.
Lighthouses.
Boat storage business.
Merry go round.
Kite store.
Short term rentals.
Oh, the possibilities!
Eventually coming back to earth,
We realized that retirees who build dream houses in tiny beach towns eventually leave…
for health reasons…
or for better amenities…
and houses where there is no real job market don’t appreciate…

And if we were really going to get back into home ownership, where would we REALLY want to live?

Eenie meenie mienie mo…
Where on earth do we want to go…
We wrote our wish list and started studying housing markets…
“We’re in contract”.
The decision is done.
But the work has only just begun.
Clutter clearing, here we come!
I watched a sappy sweet Christmas movie,
turned on a sentimental Christmas music playlist,
and headed for my closet.
Yep… the closet I couldn’t really clean when I went through
Clutter Clearing Class the first time a couple years ago.

This time, with the promise of a beautiful new home as motivation, I began.

Touching each piece of clothing, I muscle tested yes or no.
Yes to keep and no to let go…
The yes’s stayed on their hangers…
The no’s made it to the closet floor.
Some were obviously past their prime…
Hidden deep in the closet I’d ignored them for 3 years…
But some surprised me…
They were things I still wear…
Things I like, even…
And some brand spankin’ new…
But never worn….
Why were they never worn?
Because I had changed.
I became a new me –
And this is a new day.
Ready or not…
The music jangled on…
But my tears began to flow…
Do I really have to let go?
Yes What am I letting go of?
Why am I crying?
What is this fear?

It’s not the clothes.
I am letting go of the me that I was when I wore these items every day…
When I was young and slender and lithe and quick and vibrant….

I am letting go of the pain I felt when I was so sick
and my children cleaned out my closet of many favorites,
thinking I would never get well again…
they thought they were doing me a favor…
and maybe they were,
but it didn’t feel that way then.

“Let go of the old, you you can make room for the new.”
That’s what they say, but when you’re not ready,
it feels more like pain and grief and loss.

What if letting go of the old releases the loss?
What if letting go of the old empowers you to live fully in the present moment?
I feel the energy lift.
I lived 20 when I was 20.
40 when I was 40.
And now as I am now…

Wiping the tears away, I continue…
This time, on purpose…
the letting go is totally on my own terms.

“We are under contract”…
Which means we made a conscious choice for where to live
for the next however many years we’ll be embodied on this planet as Kevin and Jo Lyn…
It’s been a journey of faith,
of conscious choices,
and careful budgeting.
Good stewards.
Good stewards of the resources we know we will have for the long term…
And if you’re health is such that your world shrinks to the size of a box…
I say, let that box be beautiful!
Take only what you really want.
Bring with you only what serves you in the now.
Accept and be the you that you are today…
Jeanie Brosius King and Marie Kondo would be proud of me.
I am proud of me.
I manage to pick up the pile of clothes from the floor an armful at a time.
My balance a bit wobbly – I am grateful for the door moldings that my fingers hang on to,
Supporting me as I shuffle from here to there.
My thoughts flicker to my friend who can no longer walk at all…
I muscle test each item on the bed.
Separating them into piles,
one to keep,
one for my daughter,
and one to let go…
The keep pile is small,
And as the other two grow,
I find my words changing from “let go” to “give”.
And along with the words, feelings of gratitude flow…
Give.
Give.
Give.

And Live.

Thank You, Thank You, Thank You.
It has only just begun.

I Have Value as a Human Being

I Have Value as a Human Being

We’ve been contemplating our post-retirement move – which quickly became an adventure in house hunting. Not being as physically strong and capable as in years past, one of the thoughts that kept coming up for me was: “Who am I to have a house of my own?”, and “I have no value as a human being, what makes me think it is okay to have a house?”

Self-deprecating thoughts are, of course, self-defeating. Negative thoughts bring up deeply held emotions of shame, self-loathing, guilt for taking up space in the world, hopelessness, and an explicable self-limiting belief that something is intrinsically wrong with me.

Why do some people grow up with an innate sense of well-being, and others grow up emotionally insecure? 

The answer to that is finally coming to light for me. Studying the latest research by leading scientists and therapists in trauma healing, I have a name for an underlying reason for my struggles with low self-esteem, and my continual need to study all things “holistic healing”.  That name is “Developmental Trauma Disorder” – a term coined by Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk and his peers, as explained in his book “The Body Keeps the Score”. Understanding that in our earliest years, we create a perceptual map of what the world is like (safe vs unsafe), and that these deep subconscious beliefs drive our thoughts, emotions, behaviors and even abilities as we go through life… is enlightening.

For years, I’ve sensed that not everything is the way I perceive it to be. For decades, I held onto specific hurtful and confusing events from childhood as “evidence” that there was something wrong with me. Now I know that how my psyche shaped those internal perceptions was simply a result of my early childhood experiences. There’s nothing “wrong” with me as a human being. I’m not an unwanted piece of trash. For me, my developmental trauma was mostly based on my impression, at birth, that they were disappointed in me because I was a girl instead of a boy. They had no idea how that affected my sense of self worth… but here I am decades later – telling you about it – so it was not something I could “just get over”. Being a helpless, impressionable infant, my immature neurological system believed that there was something intrinsically wrong with me… and I was therefore at risk of not being safe in the world. I couldn’t simply “become a boy”… so I worked really hard to fit in and be significant in my family… thus ensuring my survival… but always felt an underlying sense of “not being enough”. And until my recent studies, I didn’t have the words to explain it.

So why am I sharing this “deep, dark inner secret” about my own mixed up psyche? 
Why would I tell anyone about feeling worthless and undeserving as a human being?
Because last night, in meditation, I was able to clear (release and resolve) that old perceptual belief.
And that frees me to heal… to see myself as healthy… a fully embodied soul… capable, resilient, and whole.
And if I can do it… then maybe this will help someone else who suffers from DTD…

In my bed, I struggle to sleep. Failing that, I begin meditation. Knowing about Developmental Trauma Disorder gives me a greater understanding of the source of my decades of low self-esteem, I began working through my meditative question and answer process:
“I am Jo Lyn. Yes…
I have value as a human being. No…
Is this lack of value a divine truth? No…
Is this lack of value a belief? Yes…
Is this an ancestral belief? No… 
Is this a collective belief? No… 
Is this my own belief? Yes…
Is this a conscious belief? No… 
Is this a subconscious belief? Yes… 
I have value as a human being. No…”
Pausing, I feel the self-defeating belief deeply in my belly… visualizing the branches of my unmyelinated dorsal vagus nerve enmeshed throughout my visceral organs. The vagus nerve is directly connected to the limbic, reptilian part of my brain – the fight/flight/freeze command center – which was all I had to work with as an infant.
Tears flow from my eyes, running silently down the sides of my face, wetting my ears and my pillow. I couldn’t have known then, that just because they wanted a boy, did not mean that there was something wrong with me.
“I forgive myself for not knowing.
I forgive myself for being a baby when I was a baby.
I forgive them and myself for being human.
Can I clear this subconscious belief? Yes…
Do I know how to do it? Yes… “
Hands on my heart, I being tapping gently, intentionally…
“Clearing lack of value as a human being.
Releasing lack of value as a human being.
Resolving this developmental traumatic perception of lack of value as a human being.”
Tapping, clearing, releasing, resolving….
Sighing deeply, I feel the tendons and ligaments in my hip relax to a new level.
The decades old, unfinished fight/flight energy associated with feeling unsafe is allowed to process.
My hips and legs begin slight movements, which I recognize as completion movements related to flight…
“I am Jo Lyn. Yes…
I have value as a human being. Yes…”
Smiling, I continue…
“I am Jo Lyn. Yes… 
I have value as a human being. Yes…
I create and share value with the world. Yes…
I am supported as I create and share value with others. Yes… 
I am Jo Lyn. Yes…
I have value as a human being. Yes… 
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
It is done, it is done, it is done.”

Now… I can go house hunting and feel great about it!

28 Day Gratitude Practice

28 Day Gratitude Practice

Today I completed a 28 Day Gratitude Practice…
28 days of focused attention to blessings great and small…

What I appreciate most about the experience is that
my morning meditative self talk focus has shifted from
“what do I need to clear” (focused on the past) to 
“what am I grateful for”… (focused on the present)…
And in the present moment, 
I am laying the foundation for future moments… 
of greater gratitude and joy.

I have been trying to resolve some physical health issues,
and knowing that there is an underlying mental, emotional, energetic
component to every disease and disorder,
I have developed the habit of waking up each day,
searching my mind for what I need to clear out of my psyche…

That “clearing” practice has been helpful in digging up and airing out
long forgotten unpleasant experiences, and allowing the biochemistry processing to complete…

But at some point, my habitual thought pattern became so focused on past wounds that I forgot to appreciate that I don’t live in my past anymore…

And I am much better served by being grateful,
in the present moment,
for blessings great and small…

Habits of thought are created through repetition, so, with the help of some special friends, I employed Rhonda Byrne’s “The Magic” (book 3 in the series of “The Secret”) as the structure for my 28 Day Gratitude Practice.
The first time through, I created the structure for our practice in the Facebook group, but my actual personal practice fizzled out…

Until one of my friends said “Let’s start this up again.”
This time, I am so happy to report that I completed each of the 28 Day Gratitude Practice prompts, with full purpose of heart…
and The Magic truly began to happen!

My energy lightened.
My spirits lifted.
I began looking for things to be grateful for.
I focused on noticing the joy…
And as I did, more joyful things appeared!

New clients showed up – effortless abundance!
I found the energy to deep clean my home – definite progress!
I received unexpected checks in the mail – a welcome surprise!

Today I woke up with gratitude phrases in my mind…
and found my body beginning to cooperate gently and joyfully…
“Thank you for my strong, healthy body.”
“Thank you for full range of motion.”
“Thank you for full relaxation.”
“Thank you for standing tall and walking strong.”
“Thank you for all the love in my life.”

As I write this post, a children’s song comes to mind…
from the Children’s Songbook…
one that I taught my own little ones…
a song of saying thank you… thank you… thank you…
a song of receiving divine love…

“Children All Over the World”

All over the world at the end of day,
Heav’nly Father’s children kneel down and pray,
Each saying thank you in his own special way,
Saying thank you, thank you in his own special way.
“Gracias.” (grah-see-ahs) 
“Malo.” (mah-loh) 
“Wir danken dir.” (veer don-ken deer)
All over the world tender voices hear.
Some say “tak,” (tahk) 
others “merci,” (mare-see)
“Kansha shimasu,” (kahn-shah shee-mah-sue) 
We thank thee.
Our Heavenly Father hears them;
He understands each tongue.
Our Heav’nly Father knows them;
He loves them,
loves them,
ev’ry one.

Words: Peggy Hill Ryskamp, b. 1949. © 1975 IRI
Music: Beth Groberg Stratton, b. 1944. © 1975 IRI
Children’s Songbook of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints

Soul Contract

Soul Contract

Soul Contract
 
I awaken, thoughts of my loved ones going through my mind.
I muscle test for which of them I should pray and meditate.
This morning – the meditation is for my husband.
In my mind’s eye, I place him in a Circle of Divine Light.
I am directed to give myself compassion for things that have come up for him, that seem to be holding him back, and which affect both of us.
I muscle test each phrase for truth, seeking the right words to describe the right energies to be shifted and cleared.
I address the phrases as if from my higher self to my current self…
 
I am so sorry your husband does not have the opportunity to fully serve to his capacity at work.
I am so sorry he is stuck in a limited role.
I am so sorry they don’t realize his value to contribute.
I am so sorry he gets frustrated that they don’t value his contribution.
I am so sorry they devalue his ability to contribute meaningfully because he is older than they.
I am so sorry they see age as a handicap.
I am so sorry they don’t see his work experience and capabilities as the great resource it truly is.
I am so sorry his opportunities are limited.
 
Is this complete?
Yes
Is there another perspective to explore?
Yes
 
Self-directed compassion continued, this time for our son.
I am so sorry your son doesn’t make enough money to pay for his own apartment.
I am so sorry he makes too much money to qualify for the low income apartment.
I am so sorry he will have no place to live unless some doors open up for him.
I am so sorry it is all your responsibility.
I am so sorry you need a miracle for him.
I am so sorry you need a miracle right now for him.
I am so sorry you will always have to help your son.
I am so sorry he was born with a so many limitations.
I am so sorry his disability is all your fault.
I am so sorry you will always be stressed regarding his well-being.
I am so sorry for your sorrows…
I am so sorry you internalize your sorrows.
I am so sorry your internalized stress becomes physical pain.
I am so sorry you are not able to consciously transform your physical well being into good health, strength and balance.
I am so sorry that stress and poor health affect your financial well being.
I am so sorry that no matter what you do, you cannot succeed.
I am so sorry that no matter what healing method you apply, it will not work.
I am so sorry that you must live in poverty all the days of your life.
 
What?
I must live in poverty all the days of my life?
Yes
Is this a soul contract?
Yes
Wait – I have a soul contract to live in poverty all the days of my life?
Yes
A series of past life events flash through my mind.
So many struggles…
So many distorted perceptions…
Self-defeating…
Affecting everything I did and all those whom I love…
Yes
 
Horrified, I query…
Did I inherit that soul contract?
No
Was it my own?
Yes
Did I think …
Did I think that I had to be poor to enter into the Kingdom of Heaven?…
Yes
That I had to be poor to be loved by God?
Yes
Is that true?
No
God loves you from infinity, to infinity, and beyond.
 
Do I need to know more about this soul contract?
No
Is it complete?
Yes
How is it done?
You have come full circle in your journey.
You are ready to move on.
I can end this contract?
Yes
 
Spirit guided me through the correct process to end this self-limiting soul contract.
I rested in the energy of realization and release for long moments…
Then came a Q & A session with Spirit…
 
There is such a thing as shared karma.
Did that soul contract of poverty affect my husband’s career?
Yes
Did that soul contract affect my husband’s ability to provide for our family?
Yes
So… no matter how hard we tried, and how hard we worked, it was all for nothing, because of that soul contract of poverty?
No.
No? It was not for nothing?
Correct. With every project, you learned.
With every effort, you grew stronger.
With every accomplishment, you succeeded.
With every act of service, you shared love.
 
Yes, but we could never seem to hold onto what we created…
It is my fault that we lost our beautiful property?
Yes, the soul contract affected that outcome.
And more?
Yes
 
Despite all your giving, you were not able to receive.
Yet, the soul contract gave you something to strive for.
Your challenges gave you a reason to seek God.

And in all your trials, you have always been watched over and cared for.

 

Yes, I see. We were afraid, but we never lacked for food and shelter and … love.
So… were we meant to move on from there?
Yes.
We were meant to come here… to care for Mother…
To experience all of this clutter clearing, downsizing, resting and healing and growing and connecting time?
Yes
Life is continually changing… as we grow?
Yes, to live a full clear life is to allow the flow.
 
Can I make a new soul contract?
Yes
One of my own conscious choosing?
Yes
Spirit guided me to create a new soul contract.
Sacred to me… with just the right words…
Hopeful, joyful, generous, empowering words.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
 
I will rest in this new, more joyful energy for a time,
feel into this new, more expansive soul contract,
and allow my world to shift and flow.
 
It is done, it is done, it is done.
Releasing Old Resentments

Releasing Old Resentments

Releasing Old Resentments

I experienced a “storm” of physical pain a few days ago…
I worked on clearing as much trapped emotional energy as I could, and awoke this morning knowing someone else I needed to forgive…for their actions of harshness and disrespect toward me about 11 years ago…
which caused me excessive emotional, financial and professional pain and distress…

This was someone I trusted by virtue of a position of church authority and their medical profession…
Someone who sought me out for my professional knowledge and skills,
Who would not allow his wife to provide the needed care for his father
who was suffering from severe dementia…
(urine soaked socks in the pantry, aggravated Sundowners syndrome, packing his belonging to leave every evening, wandering away and more…)
But this man (my client’s son) thought nothing of imposing it all upon me,
as if he was doing me a favor by allowing me to slave 24/7
and expecting cut rate pricing by virtue of our church association.

Long story short…
I “made it through that rain”…
It was an experience of compassion for the client,
and of setting boundaries with someone in “authority”
(even though I was scared)
Of standing up for myself and insisting on payment…
but I was left with a bitter taste in my mouth –
great disillusionment and loss of respect for this person,
who was so greatly revered in his church position.
This occurred so long ago I thought I had cleared it.
I haven’t thought of it in years, as both they and we have moved,
and this person is no longer in my local church community.
So I thought it was gone and forgotten…
Yet apparently, resentment remained stuck in my energy field.
And this morning,
my soul revealed it to me.

I must forgive.
Yes.
I don’t want to forgive.
I know.
He hurt me.
I know.
He shouldn’t have done that.
I know.
He scared me.
I know.
He was in the wrong.
I know.
He disrespected me.
I know.
He treated me abominably.
I know.
He treated me like shit.
I know.
He respected and protected his wife’s sensibilities,
but did not respect me.
I know.
He did not value my professional skills.
I know.
He was horrible to me.
I know.
I no longer respect him.
I know.
Do I have to respect him?
No.
Have I forgiven him?
No.
Is there any reason why should I forgive him?
For yourself.
For your own healing.
But I don’t know how to do it.
When I think of him I get a taste of bitter gall in my throat.
I want to vomit.
I know.
Will I feel better if I forgive him and let go of the resentments?
Yes.
Has this hidden, forgotten resentment been blocking my healing?
Yes
Can I let it go now?
Yes.
I’m not sure how…
Do I let it go just like I let go of any other old blocked emotion?
Yes…..
Ok… here goes…
Thank you, thank you, thank you…
It is done, it is done, it is done.
Interestingly –
I got up, dressed, walked to the car, drove to the gym, did an hour of water aerobics, came home safely without struggle..
and all without pain.
If forgiveness works this well…
I shall be searching my soul for more that needs to be forgiven.
Thank you for witnessing my blessing…

Next Day’s Morning Meditation:

Shards and Shrouds…

Releasing Old Resentments yesterday opened a floodgate for more. This morning, did some basic full body presence breathing and a body scan. There were a few gentle pressures – back of my neck and top of my shoulders, and my feet and calves – that needed underlying ancestral emotions released (1 generation back – my dear sweet mother)…
Easily released by identifying and releasing the underlying trapped emotion of ancestral confusion…. many instances….
Thank you…

Breathing…
There is something else…

I intuitively scanned with my golden energy sieve and pulled out some sharp energy shards.
Do I need to know what these are?
No. Just rejoice that they are gone.
Thank you.

Is it time to get up now?
No
Great – I get to relax more and breathe.
Yes.

Moments later:

Is there more resentment buried inside me somewhere that needs to be released?
Yes
Is there an underlying reason for it?
Yes
Do I need to know more about it?
No
How do I release it? Like I release other trapped emotions?
No
Do I polish it away with Compassion?
No
Do I just reach in and pull it out of me?
Yes
And give it to God?
Yes

In my mind’s eye, I imagined reaching my left hand into my soul heart space, grabbing hold of the energy of resentment, and pulling out of me…
It came out as a diaphanous grayish orb …
about 10 inches in diameter…
I opened my hand and it sat there a while on my palm….
Then it changed, shifting into a life sized, human body shape of translucent energy –

I had pulled out a whole energy shroud…
as if the resentment had resided inside me as an cognizant being… a separate entity of its own….

And then it was gone.
No pain.
Just a lightness of spirit.

Did it go to you, God?
Yes.
Is there more?
No
Thank you.

Breathing…
May I receive more of your golden divine light now?
Yes

Breathing in the light.

Now… is it time to get up?
Yes.

Thank you, thank you, thank you….
Dear Soul Friends…
For letting me share my meditations with you.

Healing Dreams

Healing Dreams

After attending another Compassion Key session led by Edward Mannix,
I dreamed compassion statements all night long,
becoming consciously aware of this as I began to awake in the early morning hours.
 
Most of the statements repeated in my mind were things like:
“I’m so sorry they didn’t teach you the truth about money.
I’m so sorry they said you’d never be rich.
I’m so sorry they said you couldn’t manage money.
I’m so sorry you can never be rich.”
 
I’ve done much energy work and holistic healing regarding old misconceptions and trapped emotions.
I know the truth – that my soul value is infinite and this world is only transitory…
so none of these phrases triggered any emotional hurt.
Rather, they felt strangely comforting, so I kept going… and as the words began to shift, they touched deeper and deeper into my psyche…
 
“I’m so sorry you can’t have money because you’re a girl.
I’m so sorry girls are not smart enough to have money.
I’m so sorry he said you’d never be rich if you married him.
I’m so sorry he didn’t know the truth of who you are.
I’m so sorry he valued money more than the joy and happiness of his children.
I’m so sorry he held so many inner conflicts from his own childhood.
I’m so sorry his inner pain and conflicts affected your life experiences in such a big way.
I’m so sorry you have experienced poverty but can never experience wealth.
I’m so sorry you’ll never get to see what it feels like to be generous in a big way in the world.
I’m so sorry you will never achieve your dreams.
I’m so sorry big dreams coming true is for other people, not you.
I”m so sorry you had to ask permission to buy anything for yourself.
I’m so sorry you couldn’t spend $8 for a white blouse unless you asked permission.
I’m so sorry you weren’t worth it.
I’m so sorry you were not trusted with money.
I’m so sorry he didn’t know what to do with money himself.
I’m so sorry he thought if he actually got money, someone would come and take it all away.
I’m so sorry when you got money, the economy crashed and it was all taken away.
I’m so sorry you proved him right.
I’m so sorry you couldn’t be trusted with money.
I’m so sorry that no matter how you studied, you couldn’t figure out how to keep the money and grow it into wealth.
I’m so sorry you didn’t have a positive money blueprint.
I’m so sorry you were stupid with money.
I’m so sorry you can’t trust yourself with money.
I’m so sorry they don’t trust you with money.
I’m so sorry you don’t trust you with money.
I’m so sorry you aren’t trustworthy….”
 
Caught in the pain of the moment, the tears began to flow.
I knew there was something deeper coming up, and I asked….
“What do I do with this overwhelming emotion that I can’t trust myself,
What do I do with this feeling of shame that at a core level, I am not trustworthy?
If I am not trustworthy, I have no integrity….
Then who am I???”
 
I paused… wondering how I can solve this… for I know that as a child of God
I am loved all the way to eternity and back….
Yet still, I felt this deep despair of unworthiness…
“How can I come to a place of peace?”
“Is there an underlying reason for this feeling of being untrustworthy?
No
Is there a hidden underlying reason for this feeling of being untrustworthy?
Yes
I shifted to using The Emotion Code healing modality…
and discovered ancestral trapped emotions, many instances of
insecurity,
guilt and
forlorn,
in three different ancestral lines
many generations back….
Father’s Mother’s line…
Mother’s Mother’s line…
Father’s Father’s Mother’s line…
All these and other hidden, trapped ancestral emotions had been distorting the clarity of my own soul…
Contributing to my experiences while in this mortal realm…
Coloring how I experience this world…
And affecting what I create and what I pass down the generational lines.
This holistic healing process,
beginning during the night with compassion phrases,
brought to my conscious awareness the energy resonances of traumas in my ancestors’ life experience,
And now they can all be let go… and all can grow…
Sending compassion to my ancestors:
“I am so sorry for the difficult experiences you had.
I am so sorry for your trials and sorrows.
I am so sorry the energy and resonance of these trapped emotions carried down through to your descendants…”
 
Released,  the trapped emotions shift and I feel calm now, and lighter,
Allowing the natural healing processes of internal energy to flow.
My inner world becomes more balanced,
The distortion of the lens is cleared, 
for them, for me, for all who were affected…
And we are free.
 
Thank you, thank you, thank you,
It is done, it is done, it is done.
Burdens of the Ages – Bridge to Joy

Burdens of the Ages – Bridge to Joy

Burdens of the Ages… Bridge to Joy
 
What is this excess weight I continue to carry?
Why does this heavy burden linger on my soul,
despite healthy eating, improved sleep, exercise and meditation?
 
It is the baggage and burdens of the ages…
Ancestral hurts and sorrows they knew not what to do with.
 
Did I inherit this?
Yes.
Is it mine?
No.
Am I required to carry it?
No.
Did I choose to carry it?
Yes.
Was there a purpose for this sacrifice?
Yes.
 
Is this inheritance a curse?
No.
Is this inheritance a gift?
Yes.
 
How can this painful, heavy burden be a gift?
 
In the releasing, it is a gift from you to them…
They lived in a time of soul contracts of scarcity, sorrow and fear,
A time of an eye for an eye,
A time of reaction and grudges,
A time of sorrows.
 
You live in a time of transformation…
A time of open acceptance,
A time of increasing awareness, love and enlightenment.
 
If you did not know their sorrows…
If you did not feel their pain,
You’d never feel the need for change…
And you and they would always stay the same.
 
You are their bridge to the light.
 
As you seek relief, your awareness grows.
So grows your ability to connect with The Great Creator,
Your ability to release what is no longer wanted,
And your ability to replace past sorrow with pure love.
 
As you release this baggage from yourself,
It is also released from them.
 
They are your gift, in sharing their sorrows.
And you are their gift, as a bringer of light.
You are building their bridge to joy.
Subtle Nuances – It’s the Little Things

Subtle Nuances – It’s the Little Things

Subtle Nuances… It’s the Little Things

I’ve worked through those big hurts I used to carry…
Let go of the painful injustices inherent in this world of contrast…
Released the blame I assigned to others for my own inadequacies…
Yes, They are long gone, and for that, I rejoice.

Most often,
My healing feels complete.
I awake each day communing with Spirit…
Letting it lead me step by step.

Nonetheless, I remain in this mortal sphere,
Where nothing stays the same,
And each day or moment brings a lesson…
If I but have ears to hear, eyes to see, and a heart to discern.

Finding myself dealing with unexpected life events…
Things neither of my making nor of my own control,
I endeavor to hold an an attitude of acceptance, calm confidence and assurance.
I take the required action in the moment,
While in my heart I ask,
What has this to teach me?

Thus attuned, I am more sensitive to internal and external shifts.
On occasion I sense small degrees of energetic discord…
Such as occurred during this morning’s Yoga class…
As if exercise or life events open the opportunities
for more energetic clearing…

Disappointed.
Disappointed?
Yes, I am disappointed in you.
In me?
Yes.
Is this my own?
No.
Is this ancestral?
Yes.
From my father?
No.
From my mother?
Yes.
A mother pattern?
Yes.
Do I need to know more?
Yes…
And further questions reveal the feeling of disappointment
was carried by an ancestor 72 generations back….
May I release this now?
Yes…

Thus released, I momentarily relax and
Follow the Yoga instructor through a few more poses.
Stiffness and pain arise in a joint,
and the questions begin again.
This time, it’s my own insecurities that need releasing.

I lived so much of my life feeling that
I was a disappointment to others,
That I scarcely know how to truly let it go.

Am I addicted to this habit of negativity…
this feeling of being a disappointment to others?
No.
Yet, it lingers?
Yes… the energy and resonance can still linger
after the causation event and the emotion have been released.
Can I release it, every whit?
Yes.
Thank you…

Empty now.
Empty?
Yes.
Do I need to download something else to fill this newly empty
energetic emotional space?
Yes.
May I choose for myself?
Yes.
Spirit prompts the words,
And soon,
I have witnessed for myself,
the download of a new measure of acceptance, joy and love
directly from the Great Creator, Himself.
Have I asked amiss?
No.
Is this correct?
Yes.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I resonate with Spirit in peace.

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