Releasing Old Resentments
I experienced a “storm” of physical pain a few days ago…
I worked on clearing as much trapped emotional energy as I could, and awoke this morning knowing someone else I needed to forgive…for their actions of harshness and disrespect toward me about 11 years ago…
which caused me excessive emotional, financial and professional pain and distress…
This was someone I trusted by virtue of a position of church authority and their medical profession…
Someone who sought me out for my professional knowledge and skills,
Who would not allow his wife to provide the needed care for his father
who was suffering from severe dementia…
(urine soaked socks in the pantry, aggravated Sundowners syndrome, packing his belonging to leave every evening, wandering away and more…)
But this man (my client’s son) thought nothing of imposing it all upon me,
as if he was doing me a favor by allowing me to slave 24/7
and expecting cut rate pricing by virtue of our church association.
Long story short…
I “made it through that rain”…
It was an experience of compassion for the client,
and of setting boundaries with someone in “authority”
(even though I was scared)
Of standing up for myself and insisting on payment…
but I was left with a bitter taste in my mouth –
great disillusionment and loss of respect for this person,
who was so greatly revered in his church position.
This occurred so long ago I thought I had cleared it.
I haven’t thought of it in years, as both they and we have moved,
and this person is no longer in my local church community.
So I thought it was gone and forgotten…
Yet apparently, resentment remained stuck in my energy field.
And this morning,
my soul revealed it to me.
I must forgive.
I don’t want to forgive.
He hurt me.
He shouldn’t have done that.
He scared me.
He was in the wrong.
He disrespected me.
He treated me abominably.
He treated me like shit.
He respected and protected his wife’s sensibilities,
but did not respect me.
He did not value my professional skills.
He was horrible to me.
I no longer respect him.
Do I have to respect him?
Have I forgiven him?
Is there any reason why should I forgive him?
For your own healing.
But I don’t know how to do it.
When I think of him I get a taste of bitter gall in my throat.
I want to vomit.
Will I feel better if I forgive him and let go of the resentments?
Has this hidden, forgotten resentment been blocking my healing?
Can I let it go now?
I’m not sure how…
Do I let it go just like I let go of any other old blocked emotion?
Ok… here goes…
Thank you, thank you, thank you…
It is done, it is done, it is done.
I got up, dressed, walked to the car, drove to the gym, did an hour of water aerobics, came home safely without struggle..
and all without pain.
If forgiveness works this well…
I shall be searching my soul for more that needs to be forgiven.
Thank you for witnessing my blessing…
Next Day’s Morning Meditation:
Shards and Shrouds…
Releasing Old Resentments yesterday opened a floodgate for more. This morning, did some basic full body presence breathing and a body scan. There were a few gentle pressures – back of my neck and top of my shoulders, and my feet and calves – that needed underlying ancestral emotions released (1 generation back – my dear sweet mother)…
Easily released by identifying and releasing the underlying trapped emotion of ancestral confusion…. many instances….
There is something else…
I intuitively scanned with my golden energy sieve and pulled out some sharp energy shards.
Do I need to know what these are?
No. Just rejoice that they are gone.
Is it time to get up now?
Great – I get to relax more and breathe.
Is there more resentment buried inside me somewhere that needs to be released?
Is there an underlying reason for it?
Do I need to know more about it?
How do I release it? Like I release other trapped emotions?
Do I polish it away with Compassion?
Do I just reach in and pull it out of me?
And give it to God?
In my mind’s eye, I imagined reaching my left hand into my soul heart space, grabbing hold of the energy of resentment, and pulling out of me…
It came out as a diaphanous grayish orb …
about 10 inches in diameter…
I opened my hand and it sat there a while on my palm….
Then it changed, shifting into a life sized, human body shape of translucent energy –
I had pulled out a whole energy shroud…
as if the resentment had resided inside me as an cognizant being… a separate entity of its own….
And then it was gone.
Just a lightness of spirit.
Did it go to you, God?
Is there more?
May I receive more of your golden divine light now?
Breathing in the light.
Now… is it time to get up?
Thank you, thank you, thank you….
Dear Soul Friends…
For letting me share my meditations with you.
The Deep Waters of Grief
Each stage is a season, bringing both a blessing and a shadow.
How you fare through the transition is a matter of perspective and choice.
And of course, it helps to reach out to compassionate hearts
and kind hands to help you on your way.
A merciful temporary shield of protection.
An insulating numbness,
protecting your psyche from the magnitude of what just happened,
Denial mercifully allows you retain the strength needed to step up
and do what needs to be done in this, your most immediate hour of need.
Denial can be so deceptively comforting you may be tempted to stay here forever.
Don’t stay cocooned here too long, or you’ll miss out on the rest of your life.
A catalyzing, actionable energy.
Anger brings with it the ability to effect powerful change in split-seconds.
Misdirected through ignorance, blame or imperfect perception,
Anger can damage and destroy a sensitive, fragile new beginning,
plunging all back into depths of despair.
An opportunity for introspection.
Bargaining allows you to look at all the angles of your tragedy,
and realize the magnitude of the part you played in each scene.
Such conscious awareness can enlighten the soul for the highest and best good.
Endless examination of what went right and what went wrong,
and all the “coulda’s, woulda’s, and shoulda’s”
that may or may not have been done differently
can imprison you, powerlessly, in the past.
Stabbed and wounded,
Depression becomes your respectable retreat, your safe space,
where you are allowed to process this epic truth –
Your Life, as you knew it, will never be the same.
Do not fear the pain.
Even embrace it.
Fully feel the twisting blade of despair,
And share your anguish with a trusted, nonjudgmental soul.
Only then, when the magnitude of your loss is fully validated,
will the sharpness soften and the tide recede and you discover
there is rest and renewal to be found in these quiet depths.
Excessive indulgence in Depression can become endlessly disabling.
Do not succumb to the temptation to wield Depression
as a weapon of self-pity against your present and your future,
for left unchecked, it will steal your ability to love,
and that, my dear, would be the greatest tragedy of all.
Oh blessed is the day when you awaken from sorrow and hear a song of joy again!
Acceptance peeps slowly, gently, up through the receding pain,
Just tiny moments of awareness seeking sunlight through snow frozen field.
You still breathe the breath of life.
And alive, enlightened by the lessons, you can choose to walk more meaningfully.
Defeat is the shadow side of Acceptance.
Giving up is the sin.
The true sorrow is if you let the pain dim the light of your soul
and the world loses you… and your purpose… and your natural expression of joy.
Yes, you were horribly hurt.
Yes, you felt powerless in your pain.
Yes, it happened to you.
But you are not alone.
You did not drown.
In avoiding the shadows and embracing the blessings contained in this prose,
you can climb into the ship of compassion
to safely cross the seas of change.
“Meditative insights flow through me and around me and as me…
something akin to the relationship between the sand and the sea.
If I don’t record them in words,
they are washed away with the next wave of energy.
Yesterday I experienced a beautiful dream,
in which I was cleaning a marquise diamond lens that projects my soul into form…
using a special cloth that picks up and removes every smudge of distortion.
Speaking compassion phrases as I performed this labor of love,
I was able to thoroughly clean every facet of the gem – front, back, side, top, bottom…
It became so squeaky clean that divine light shown through in pristine brilliance….
Then suddenly it seemed there was another diamond crystal lens…
An infinite multiplicity of diamond crystals shining soul light into form…
as innumerable as the sands of the sea…
Then came the realization that these all exist inside of me,
reflected and embodied in every component of every cell….
Divine light exists within me – beautiful liquid soul light embodied into form….
As I saw these in my mind’s eye,
I also received a physical flow of waves of spirit inside of me…
from the tips of my toes to the crown of my head…
Thank you, thank you, thank you…
Jo Lyn Cornelsen
The Compassion Component
I am finding that adding a compassion component to ancestral healing processes softens my frustration
at having to face the empathic and organic pain that shows up in my own body.
In other words – I realized that though I am able to use holistic healing processes
to identify and release the pain and underlying emotions,
I still held resentment and resistance toward the pain and the process.
Sometimes I have railed against my ancestors.
Sometimes against God.
Most often, against myself for not already being perfect enlightenment in form.
Yesterday, I was able to let go and simply accept what is.
And my body began to relax on a deeper level.
This morning I awoke after an unusual 8 full hours of continuous sleep,
with a feeling of being whole in body, mind and spirit.
It felt so amazing that I didn’t want to move.
So I just breathed deeply, focusing on my heart space,
treasuring the feeling of being one with the Divine…
Until my body let me know it was time to get up and go…
Thank you for listening.
Wholeness…. the goal is authentic wholeness.
This morning I realized I had been focusing my healing statements around getting rid of what I don’t want… identifying negative trapped emotions, and using the healing processes to let them go.
I have lived so many years in various patterns of struggle that I needed a multi-faceted healing process.
I have used The Emotion Code, The Body Code, Energy Medicine, Craniosacral Therapy, Quantum Touch, Theta Healing and my own SoulTalk to release many millions of trapped ancestral emotions, traumas, offensive energies and the resonances of diseases.
All this has helped me and my family (and some clients) exponentially.
The goal is to release these old energies and be able to be free – to feel myself whole in body, mind and soul.
Results show in my increased ability to handle every day life without being emotionally triggered…
by responding rather than reacting.
I am much happier and healthier, it is true,
but I reached an impasse’….characterized by a feeling of numbness…
blandness… nothingness… almost emptiness.
Who am I now, that all the stress and crisis is gone?
How do I proceed in my life, when the old motivations of fear and scarcity no longer fuel my choices and my actions?
Wholeness, to me, includes feeling on purpose – KNOWING that I am in the right place, at the right time of my life, doing the right things….
Wholeness includes knowing how and where I am meant to contribute to my family…
my community… my world.
Authentic Wholeness, to me, includes being in purpose and on purpose.
Thankfully, as I seek to align with the Divine Creator in all Truth, I am led in my search for growth.
At this time, I am experiencing the Compassion Key Soul Created Wealth program,
mentored by Edward Mannix, accompanied by many soul friends on a similar path.
At different places in our respective journeys, pure compassion brings us together.
I heard Edward’s message differently on this last Soul Created Wealth and Planetary Healing call.
The Compassion Key training is uniquely different from the other healing modalities I have studied.
He said to decide what I want, format it into an “I deserve” phrase, intuitively test the truth of my phrase,
and give myself compassion for not yet having what I want.
Then spend 20 minutes every day on self directed compassion regarding this, and see where it takes me.
Today, I applied the approach of giving myself compassion for what I want, but do not now have.
What do I want, when my purpose is not clear?
What do I want?
I want to be whole.
I want to feel free.
I want my body to be healed and functional,
so I no longer have to look for the handicap parking spaces
and plan how to get from my car to the store where I can hold onto a cart.
Jesus said to a cripple, “Take up thy bed and walk.” And the man walked. I do not doubt this.
Miracles do happen. Some manifest quickly, others take time.
My health and strength are improved from just 6 months ago…
Yet I still struggle.
I would like to let go of the struggle and function on purpose in joy and ease.
I’m sure the scarcity mindset has limited my health, wealth and relationships in many ways.
“So sorry you are still in struggle.
So sorry for the years of scarcity.
So sorry you inherited so much energetic trauma.
So sorry they taught you that you must struggle all your life.
So sorry they said life was not worth living unless you lived hard.
So sorry the world beat you up.
So sorry the world proved them right.
So sorry you lost it all….
So sorry you were not tough enough.
So sorry the negativity affected your physical health.
So sorry you were stuck for so long.”
I deserve better. I deserve to be slim, energetic, strong and powerful.
“I’m so sorry you are not yet slim, energetic, strong and powerful.
When was I ever slim, energetic, strong and powerful?
In meditation, I got a visual of myself at age 8, running with joyful abandon
around the play yard at our family home….
running and playing with friends, sure footed, so confident in my body…
so confident in having a great time using our imaginations in play…
and I began to feel it…
I remembered what it felt like to being whole and free in my body.
Another visual opened up – this time on the playground at school, in imaginative play,
our group of girls were wild horses running free, and the boys were cowboys
come to bring us to the corral by the twirly bars.
Running, running, running…
Chasing and being chased…
love the running, running, running….
They “caught” the others, who were now happily twirling on the twirly bars…
Not me… I was still free…
Running, running, running….
Powerful energy surged within me and I was uncatchable…
“Hey recess is almost over!
We have to catch this last wild horse and go back in!”…
So I allowed myself to be caught….
but not easily…
they grabbed my arms,
and still I bucked and pulled,
challenging the cowboys’ abilities….
“This one is really wild!” they yelled at each other…
all of them coming to help catch the last wild horse…
Suddenly the school bell rang and the game was over…
We all ran to line up at the school door….
Huffing and puffing,
Exhilarated by the exercise…
Filing in for a drink of water and then to our classroom desks…
Settling down to my schoolwork,
completely whole and on purpose with who I was in the current moment.
They say that in Quantum Physics, reality is malleable, that what we choose now can change the past.
They say in Theta Healing that unless a person can know what it feels like
to do or be something, they cannot create it in physical reality.
Today, I remembered what it felt like to be whole and free.
I choose now to bring that feeling from my past to my present…
Slim, energetic, strong, powerful and whole,
Body, mind and spirit.
I am whole.
I am me.
I am free.
After attending another Compassion Key session led by Edward Mannix,
I dreamed compassion statements all night long,
becoming consciously aware of this as I began to awake in the early morning hours.
Most of the statements repeated in my mind were things like:
“I’m so sorry they didn’t teach you the truth about money.
I’m so sorry they said you’d never be rich.
I’m so sorry they said you couldn’t manage money.
I’m so sorry you can never be rich.”
I’ve done much energy work and holistic healing regarding old misconceptions and trapped emotions.
I know the truth – that my soul value is infinite and this world is only transitory…
so none of these phrases triggered any emotional hurt.
Rather, they felt strangely comforting, so I kept going… and as the words began to shift, they touched deeper and deeper into my psyche…
“I’m so sorry you can’t have money because you’re a girl.
I’m so sorry girls are not smart enough to have money.
I’m so sorry he said you’d never be rich if you married him.
I’m so sorry he didn’t know the truth of who you are.
I’m so sorry he valued money more than the joy and happiness of his children.
I’m so sorry he held so many inner conflicts from his own childhood.
I’m so sorry his inner pain and conflicts affected your life experiences in such a big way.
I’m so sorry you have experienced poverty but can never experience wealth.
I’m so sorry you’ll never get to see what it feels like to be generous in a big way in the world.
I’m so sorry you will never achieve your dreams.
I’m so sorry big dreams coming true is for other people, not you.
I”m so sorry you had to ask permission to buy anything for yourself.
I’m so sorry you couldn’t spend $8 for a white blouse unless you asked permission.
I’m so sorry you weren’t worth it.
I’m so sorry you were not trusted with money.
I’m so sorry he didn’t know what to do with money himself.
I’m so sorry he thought if he actually got money, someone would come and take it all away.
I’m so sorry when you got money, the economy crashed and it was all taken away.
I’m so sorry you proved him right.
I’m so sorry you couldn’t be trusted with money.
I’m so sorry that no matter how you studied, you couldn’t figure out how to keep the money and grow it into wealth.
I’m so sorry you didn’t have a positive money blueprint.
I’m so sorry you were stupid with money.
I’m so sorry you can’t trust yourself with money.
I’m so sorry they don’t trust you with money.
I’m so sorry you don’t trust you with money.
I’m so sorry you aren’t trustworthy….”
Caught in the pain of the moment, the tears began to flow.
I knew there was something deeper coming up, and I asked….
“What do I do with this overwhelming emotion that I can’t trust myself,
What do I do with this feeling of shame that at a core level, I am not trustworthy?
If I am not trustworthy, I have no integrity….
I paused… wondering how I can solve this… for I know that as a child of God
I am loved all the way to eternity and back….
Yet still, I felt this deep despair of unworthiness…
“How can I come to a place of peace?”
“Is there an underlying reason for this feeling of being untrustworthy?
Is there a hidden underlying reason for this feeling of being untrustworthy?
I shifted to using The Emotion Code healing modality…
and discovered ancestral trapped emotions, many instances of
in three different ancestral lines
many generations back….
Father’s Father’s Mother’s line…
All these and other hidden, trapped ancestral emotions had been distorting the clarity of my own soul…
Contributing to my experiences while in this mortal realm…
Coloring how I experience this world…
And affecting what I create and what I pass down the generational lines.This holistic healing process,
beginning during the night with compassion phrases,
brought to my conscious awareness the energy resonances of traumas in my ancestors’ life experience,
And now they can all be let go… and all can grow…
Sending compassion to my ancestors:
“I am so sorry for the difficult experiences you had.
I am so sorry for your trials and sorrows.
I am so sorry the energy and resonance of these trapped emotions carried down through to your descendants…”
Released, the trapped emotions shift and I feel calm now, and lighter,
Allowing the natural healing processes of internal energy to flow.
My inner world becomes more balanced,
The distortion of the lens is cleared, for them, for me, for all who were affected…
And we are free.
Thank you, thank you, thank you,
It is done, it is done, it is done.
“To Be Authentic, Healing Must Be Holistic”
“Body, mind, spirit, soul…
Physical, social, emotional, spiritual…
All aspects work together to create the Whole YOU.
Begin wherever you are right now.
Seek to be the best you can be.
Allow yourself to be led by the divine spirit.
Cherish this life experience.
~ Jo Lyn Cornelsen
The Process of Authentic Healing
True, authentic healing is a process more than an event. I don’t know that if, in the human experience, we are ever finished with it. “Line upon line is how this process of awakening to increased conscious awareness and authentic wholeness has been for me.”
A friend once told me “sometimes the only thing holding us back is ourselves”. In my case, it was true. I had let childhood hurts turn into huge fears… and those old things kept popping up through out my lifetime and getting in the way of me going forward and being at peace and happy. Chronic stresses compounded over the years, and eventually impacted my physical health.
The good news is that I found ways to reach out for help and detox from so much stuff.
I am so grateful for the naturopathic and energy healing processes I have experienced… one after another, as I have been led to them, I have been able to release those old issues and feel my spirit more fully “seated” in my body… I feel more whole.
I’m a writer, so in my healing, I developed something I call SoulTalk… where I journal my feelings and experience of using energy exercises for specific issues and release them.
I’ve learned from The Emotion Code, Quantum Touch, Healing the Inner Child, the Figure 8 Exercise, Emotional Freedom Technique, Craniosacral Therapy, Law of Attraction Training, Energy Medicine, Theta Healing, Chakra Healing, Soulprint Healing, Soul Embodiment, Wholetones Music Therapy, and more.
Now, when I find myself triggered, I am able to recognize and identify the specific issues, use these energetic clearing tools to accept and release them, call upon Divine Light and Love to fill and enlighten my body, mind and spirit, and to protect my soul going forward.
As an empath, I’ve also learned to recognize when the emotions and energy of others is affecting me, and know how to deal with it. Sometimes it is a message from ancestors on the other side of the veil, requesting emotional shifts, and I am able to accommodate that and vicariously clear old traumas from past, present and future generations.
In January this year, I focused on a 28 Day Gratitude Practice, which helped me immensely. I found that gratitude brought me to a place of forgiveness… and opened the door to more healing. If you’d like to enjoy the same process, join this group… and scroll to the oldest posts… that’s where to start. It also shows the reference to the book I used, if you’d like that.
I In the process of reaching for and creating my own authentic healing, I have discovered several of my own sacred gifts / spiritual gifts – including the gift of Empathy, Intercessory Prayer, the Gift of Healing and others… I am learning to use these in positive ways. I even certified as a guide for a course called Discover Your Sacred Gifts… and the more I guide others through it, the more clear I am regarding my own.
I’ve learned that when I focus only on clearing things, I can actually create more to clear, so I stay stuck in the past. So at some point, when you feel you have let go of enough personal and generational traumas that you can relax enough to breathe deeply and feel the spirit within you, there is a need to learn to live and enjoy and create in the present.
Though you may feel there are still things to clear, I encourage you to begin a daily practice of letting go of what has come before, allowing yourself to appreciate the small beauties and joys of daily life, and consciously focus on creating more of what brings you joy.
Blessings to all…