Self Esteem

Self Esteem

A beloved friend recently reached out in anguish,
seeking reassurance during a time of self-doubt,
a struggle she has faced since childhood trauma reared its ugly head.

I was slow in answering, because I was away from my desk,
and not immediately available.
When I eventually responded, others had already reached out to comfort her,
but when she saw my post, she reacted with the words –
“Oh – you DO care!”

Yes, dear one, I do care.
My heart overflows with exquisite compassion
that seems to come from somewhere else, beyond my own human smallness.

My husband and I were at the temple that morning,
and my state of being is feeling quite tender remembering it,
for I received such a powerful spiritual witness of The SON at the veil.

During the service, I imagined myself standing before God,
emptying my soul of everything I had been hanging onto…
like a little child would empty his pockets of all his treasures…
turning them inside out as he revealed
the bits and pieces of dusty stuff,
sticks and stones, marbles and string,
wadded up papers and scraggly bits of ribbon…
things he had picked up along his path,
or gotten from others in his meanderings…
pulling it all out, holding it tightly in his fists for a moment,
then laying it all out upon the bench before his father…
hair all mussed up,
smudges of dirt on his face…
standing there…
with nothing left to give…
but himself.

And then in my imagination, the bench became an altar,
and the great hand of God reached down and swept it all away,
scattering my once-treasured trash across the room and off into oblivion!
All those little things I had been holding onto were gone.
I had nothing left to give or to do.
Nothing left to hold onto.
I simply stood there, pockets and hands empty, standing alone before the altar of God.

Whereupon – God reached out his arms,
gesturing for me to climb up onto the altar.
So I climbed up to the cushion on top,
and curled up like a little child asleep.
And then, in my mind’s eye,
the great hands of God encircled the altar,
flowing Divine creative energy completely through me,
cradling me, cleansing me with an immense flow of Divine energy.

In physical reality, I still sat, demurely in my cushioned seat,
comfortable and safe in that holy place.
My mind returned to the words being spoken —
words I hold sacred within my heart.
As the session proceeded and I was asked to repeat the words,
I received an immense personal witness
of the physical and spiritual reality of the Son of God…
and His sacrifice…
for me…
and for all of us.

I do not know all things.
But I know when I am touched in the heart by the Divine – the Holy One.
Tears streamed down my face – I began tapping on my heart –
barely able to speak the words I knew so well…
and for someone who seems to always have a plethora of words,
I found myself nearly speechless…
for hours.

Self esteem…
Self love…
Self appreciation…
Self acceptance…

Oh dear one,

If you could but see the brilliant light that is the truth of you,
Self doubt would never be your foe.
And yet, you live in human form,
Experiencing depths of contrasting emotions…
along this journey your soul chose to take.Good and evil
Pleasure and pain
Sorrow and joy
and so much more…
As excruciating as is the pain,
so exquisite can be the joy.God’s wisdom was that for our souls to gain
the prize we seek while in this realm,
The veil was drawn across our minds,
and we are to walk in faith…
or fear, whichever is our choice.
Yet, we are not left alone and comfortless.
The Light of Christ is in us all,
and The Holy Spirit witnesses of God’s love.If God loves you and me so deeply as to send
His Only Begotten Son
to chart the path for our return,
Then how, dear soul, canst thou doubt thy own worth?Lifetimes are invested in the search for truth and wholeness.
Could the answer already be before us – and within us?
As we align with the Divine to our best ability…
We position our heart to be open,
able to commune with God.

I remember my sweet mother,
just days before she passed,
saying “I can’t figure out what I must do to be able to go.”
And the answer came intuitively:
“Perhaps how to die is not something we can figure out at all.
Maybe the secret of the how is found in simply letting go.”

Surrender.
Trust Divine Guidance
KNOW that you are loved beyond measure.
Continue to seek truth.
For in the truth, shall freedom be discovered.

Enough

Enough

The concept that we create our own life,
and that life is a mirror,
has helped me recognize
what I am projecting into the world,
and be able to clear it up.

It’s all well and fine when I can blame
my stuff on the ancestors…
on their trapped emotions
and hidden pain bodies,
fat bodies,
fear bodies,
thought bodies….

And I must say,
that recognizing and releasing such things
is an integral part of unraveling
the web of distorted self perceptions and projections,
that have kept me stumbling around in the dark for decades.

Writing is both my gift and my therapy.
Vulnerability is raw and real
and sharing it garners
external emotional support.
And I thank you for allowing me to share my perceptions
and thought processes
along this seemingly never ending journey,
as I have needed that support and encouragement
so deeply, and sometimes desperately,
in my unwinding process.

Somehow I’m seen as a hero
to be able to recognize and to clear
all the STUFF as it comes up
out of my psyche,
out of my ancestral lines,
out of the quantum experience of past, present, and future.

But one of my deepest underlying fears
is that once I’ve let go of the ancestral blame game,
and released all they brought forth to clear,
that I would not know the truth of my own soul,
that I would not know the truth of who I AM…
without all the layers of collective burdens,
demonic pains, and knotted perceptions…
or that if I did recognize the true ME
when I come out from under it all…
that I would find myself lacking…
That I would not be enough.

Sages say that in order to heal
you must go back in time in your mind
to where the first dysfunctional belief began,
in order to unravel the threads of distorted thoughts,
and clear the twisted, false self-perceptions acquired
in response to someone else’s imperfections…

Back to before you became part of their winding story…
back to the beginning of who you once knew as you…
to feel the memory of the truth of you,
when you were whole.
And then,
forgive yourself for the story,
and write a new one.

Been there, done that – or so I think…
traveling to astral realms and back again
to pre-mortal and ancestral worlds of wonder and now here…
today…
right now…
in the current moment,
where I find my life improving,
but not yet perfectly appealing..
where life shows me yet another unpleasantry…
a reflection of rejection in my happy place mirror…
which surprised me and nearly dismayed me
as it came from someone with whom I had thought
I had developed a relationship of mutual respect.

And so it is time to reflect, and I know
There is nothing that needs forgiving, because
If life is a mirror, so the rejection I see
is just a reflection of rejection of my own self, to me…
a reflection of my fear of not being enough.

I have dodged that fear for so long.
But I have no regrets about my healing journey,
as it has prepared me for this next level of truth.
And I remember…
I remember the divine personal revelation received
during an all-night talk between myself and God…
(years before I found Soulprint Healing)…
a chakra meditation wherein I went back in time in my mind,
recognizing, validating and healing
childhood hurts, confusion, misconceptions and sorrows…
back to where I saw the very first me that I remember…
the me that was on her way into this world…

And my heart leaps, remembering the joy…
Because it was my turn!
My turn to come here and experience physical mortality!
And I KNEW who I was and I KNEW I could do it…
I KNEW the truth of me,
and I was enough.
And I still am.
Peel away all the disillusions and distortions…
The memories and the fears,
The successes and the failures…
And I am enough.

I am just as I was always was,
and just as I was meant to be.
I am enough.
I AM LOVE.

Sacred Gift of Writing

Sacred Gift of Writing

My Sacred Gift of Writing
My Sacred Gift of Healing
 

After our Compassion Circle Sharing call last evening, I thought to put my body in a circle of light, and give it compassion for the weight, health and balance issues that have prevailed despite all my holistic energy healing work.This self-directed compassion is a process of self-love, self-forgiveness, and self healing.
It is a process of validating emotions for the purpose of acknowledging them as real, as important, and as part of our soul’s process of exploring what we want and what we don’t want to experience… thus helping us be free to make positive life choices.In my mind’s eye, I draw a golden circle of Divine Light.
I place my body in that circle.

 
So sorry you are so heavy.
So sorry no matter what you do, you cannot change your stars.
So sorry you are stuck carrying other people’s burdens.
So sorry other people can release weight through learning to love themselves, but you cannot.
So sorry you are stuck in a perpetual state of chronic adrenal stress, for ever and ever and ever and ever and always.
So sorry your parasympathetic nervous system is so shattered, and you can never heal.
So sorry the stress you carry is not a burden you can ever put down.
So sorry you can send other’s burdens to the light, but not your own.
So sorry you feel you have to save the world.
So sorry you contracted to be in servitude forever.
So sorry work and service have to be hard.
So sorry you don’t know how to serve from a space of joy and love.
So sorry your world cannot be light and easy.
So sorry it is so difficult to throw off generational burdens.
So sorry they carried heavy burdens, so it wouldn’t be fair if you lightened your own load.
So sorry those burdens are so heavy your legs can no longer hold you up.
So sorry you have to become disabled in order to be relieved of your burdens.
So sorry now you have become a burden to others.
So sorry for your pain.
So sorry for your sorrows.
 
Time for bed…
so I leave my body in the circle of light…
and go to sleep.
Intermittently, I wake up and check the circle.
Yep, my body is still there.
Just waiting.
I give more compassion each time I awake.
 
So sorry you are stuck there.
So sorry you will always be stuck.
So sorry…
 
A few more hours of sleep – it is still there in the circle.
 
So sorry there is nowhere to go.
So sorry there is only shadow in that circle.
So sorry a circle of light is so dark.
So sorry you think you have to be heavy to stay alive.
So sorry you think you must be heavy to survive.
So sorry you don’t see that heaviness is what is killing you.
So sorry you don’t see that burden is too heavy.
So sorry you can’t see that weightlessness would allow you to move more freely.
So sorry you can’t see that you have the power to change.
So sorry you don’t see that you can give yourself permission to release the lot of it.
So sorry you don’t see that you can release it and let it go while still in this physical body.
So sorry you can’t figure out how to let it go without dying.
So sorry your cells think they are protecting you from harm by chelating emotional toxins.
So sorry you are too afraid to see your truth.
So sorry you cannot just let it all go.
So sorry you cannot love yourself just the way you are.
 
I awake in the morning – yep… my body is still in the circle… but I am on my way to deep water aerobics, so I can’t stop and focus for a session. It will have to wait.
 
My swimsuit on, I’m in the pool.
I love my YMCA mornings.
In between the instructor’s guidance,
I check that circle of light.
 
My body is still there, but it is all crumpled up.
It looks like a pile of discarded clothing.
Blacks and browns and blues.
It’s a sorry mess.
Is my body still there?
Yes.
Shall I send it compassion now?
No.
 
Okay… and I go my merry way,
able to perform full range of motion in the water,
moving there in ways I cannot do on dry land.
 
My lips have been chapped for weeks.
Ever since Mother passed away my lips have dried out, peeled off, become soft again, only to dry out again.
Sometimes my lips feel like a snake shedding it’s skin.
Yes, I use amazingly good lip stuff.
Yes, I stay well hydrated.
Water water everywhere, inside and out.
Still, I’m shedding my skin.
 
On my way home I check again.
Yep, my body is still in the circle of light,
all crumpled up like wadded up fabric…
Shall I do a compassion session now?
Nope.
 
Once home, I dry my hair, eat breakfast, send my husband off to work, and sit at the computer.
I write my story of Clearing Deep Resentments, (4 hour project) totally losing track of time.
 
I love writing.
I love expressing myself through words.
Words have so many nuances.
I love that I can muscle test and know which words to use.
I love that when it’s the wrong word or phrase,
My intuition will lead me to the right ones.
 
Those I know who don’t love writing
think I am compelled to write by some evil magician or because of an odd pathological obsessive compulsive behavior.
 
But truth being – I write because I love to write.
I can express myself through the written word
in a way that satisfies my soul.
I write to create.
I write to process.
I write for healing.
I write to share.
I feel joy when I write.
 
I check my circle of light.
Is my body still there?
Yes.
Is my body still a crumpled pile of clothing?
No
Do I see the crumpled pile?
No
Is my body still in the circle of light?
Yes
I cannot see it.
Is my body light?
Yes
Is my body light in the circle of light?
Yes
 
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
It is done, it is done, it is done.
Releasing Old Resentments

Releasing Old Resentments

Releasing Old Resentments

I experienced a “storm” of physical pain a few days ago…
I worked on clearing as much trapped emotional energy as I could, and awoke this morning knowing someone else I needed to forgive…for their actions of harshness and disrespect toward me about 11 years ago…
which caused me excessive emotional, financial and professional pain and distress…

This was someone I trusted by virtue of a position of church authority and their medical profession…
Someone who sought me out for my professional knowledge and skills,
Who would not allow his wife to provide the needed care for his father
who was suffering from severe dementia…
(urine soaked socks in the pantry, aggravated Sundowners syndrome, packing his belonging to leave every evening, wandering away and more…)
But this man (my client’s son) thought nothing of imposing it all upon me,
as if he was doing me a favor by allowing me to slave 24/7
and expecting cut rate pricing by virtue of our church association.

Long story short…
I “made it through that rain”…
It was an experience of compassion for the client,
and of setting boundaries with someone in “authority”
(even though I was scared)
Of standing up for myself and insisting on payment…
but I was left with a bitter taste in my mouth –
great disillusionment and loss of respect for this person,
who was so greatly revered in his church position.
This occurred so long ago I thought I had cleared it.
I haven’t thought of it in years, as both they and we have moved,
and this person is no longer in my local church community.
So I thought it was gone and forgotten…
Yet apparently, resentment remained stuck in my energy field.
And this morning,
my soul revealed it to me.

I must forgive.
Yes.
I don’t want to forgive.
I know.
He hurt me.
I know.
He shouldn’t have done that.
I know.
He scared me.
I know.
He was in the wrong.
I know.
He disrespected me.
I know.
He treated me abominably.
I know.
He treated me like shit.
I know.
He respected and protected his wife’s sensibilities,
but did not respect me.
I know.
He did not value my professional skills.
I know.
He was horrible to me.
I know.
I no longer respect him.
I know.
Do I have to respect him?
No.
Have I forgiven him?
No.
Is there any reason why should I forgive him?
For yourself.
For your own healing.
But I don’t know how to do it.
When I think of him I get a taste of bitter gall in my throat.
I want to vomit.
I know.
Will I feel better if I forgive him and let go of the resentments?
Yes.
Has this hidden, forgotten resentment been blocking my healing?
Yes
Can I let it go now?
Yes.
I’m not sure how…
Do I let it go just like I let go of any other old blocked emotion?
Yes…..
Ok… here goes…
Thank you, thank you, thank you…
It is done, it is done, it is done.
Interestingly –
I got up, dressed, walked to the car, drove to the gym, did an hour of water aerobics, came home safely without struggle..
and all without pain.
If forgiveness works this well…
I shall be searching my soul for more that needs to be forgiven.
Thank you for witnessing my blessing…

Next Day’s Morning Meditation:

Shards and Shrouds…

Releasing Old Resentments yesterday opened a floodgate for more. This morning, did some basic full body presence breathing and a body scan. There were a few gentle pressures – back of my neck and top of my shoulders, and my feet and calves – that needed underlying ancestral emotions released (1 generation back – my dear sweet mother)…
Easily released by identifying and releasing the underlying trapped emotion of ancestral confusion…. many instances….
Thank you…

Breathing…
There is something else…

I intuitively scanned with my golden energy sieve and pulled out some sharp energy shards.
Do I need to know what these are?
No. Just rejoice that they are gone.
Thank you.

Is it time to get up now?
No
Great – I get to relax more and breathe.
Yes.

Moments later:

Is there more resentment buried inside me somewhere that needs to be released?
Yes
Is there an underlying reason for it?
Yes
Do I need to know more about it?
No
How do I release it? Like I release other trapped emotions?
No
Do I polish it away with Compassion?
No
Do I just reach in and pull it out of me?
Yes
And give it to God?
Yes

In my mind’s eye, I imagined reaching my left hand into my soul heart space, grabbing hold of the energy of resentment, and pulling out of me…
It came out as a diaphanous grayish orb …
about 10 inches in diameter…
I opened my hand and it sat there a while on my palm….
Then it changed, shifting into a life sized, human body shape of translucent energy –

I had pulled out a whole energy shroud…
as if the resentment had resided inside me as an cognizant being… a separate entity of its own….

And then it was gone.
No pain.
Just a lightness of spirit.

Did it go to you, God?
Yes.
Is there more?
No
Thank you.

Breathing…
May I receive more of your golden divine light now?
Yes

Breathing in the light.

Now… is it time to get up?
Yes.

Thank you, thank you, thank you….
Dear Soul Friends…
For letting me share my meditations with you.

Deep Waters of Grief

Deep Waters of Grief

The Deep Waters of Grief

Each stage is a season, bringing both a blessing and a shadow.
How you fare through the transition is a matter of perspective and choice.
And of course, it helps to reach out to compassionate hearts
and kind hands to help you on your way.

DENIAL
The Blessing:
A merciful temporary shield of protection.
An insulating numbness,
protecting your psyche from the magnitude of what just happened,
Denial mercifully allows you retain the strength needed to step up
and do what needs to be done in this, your most immediate hour of need.
The Shadow:
Denial can be so deceptively comforting you may be tempted to stay here forever.
Don’t stay cocooned here too long, or you’ll miss out on the rest of your life.

ANGER
The Blessing: 
A catalyzing, actionable energy.
Anger brings with it the ability to effect powerful change in split-seconds.
The Shadow:
Be aware.
Misdirected through ignorance, blame or imperfect perception,
Anger can damage and destroy a sensitive, fragile new beginning,
plunging all back into depths of despair.

BARGAINING
The Blessing:
An opportunity for introspection.
Bargaining allows you to look at all the angles of your tragedy,
and realize the magnitude of the part you played in each scene.
Such conscious awareness can enlighten the soul for the highest and best good.
The Shadow:
Endless examination of what went right and what went wrong,
and all the “coulda’s, woulda’s, and shoulda’s”
that may or may not have been done differently
can imprison you, powerlessly, in the past.

DEPRESSION
The Blessing:
Stabbed and wounded,
Depression becomes your respectable retreat, your safe space,
where you are allowed to process this epic truth –
Your Life, as you knew it, will never be the same.
Do not fear the pain.
Acknowledge it.
Even embrace it.
Fully feel the twisting blade of despair,
And share your anguish with a trusted, nonjudgmental soul.
Only then, when the magnitude of your loss is fully validated,
will the sharpness soften and the tide recede and you discover
there is rest and renewal to be found in these quiet depths.
The Shadow:
Excessive indulgence in Depression can become endlessly disabling.
Do not succumb to the temptation to wield Depression
as a weapon of self-pity against your present and your future,
for left unchecked, it will steal your ability to love,
and that, my dear, would be the greatest tragedy of all.
.
ACCEPTANCE
The Blessing:
Oh blessed is the day when you awaken from sorrow and hear a song of joy again!
Acceptance peeps slowly, gently, up through the receding pain,
Just tiny moments of awareness seeking sunlight through snow frozen field.
You still breathe the breath of life.
You LIVE.
And alive, enlightened by the lessons, you can choose to walk more meaningfully.
The Shadow:
Defeat is the shadow side of Acceptance.
Giving up is the sin.
The true sorrow is if you let the pain dim the light of your soul
and the world loses you… and your purpose… and your natural expression of joy.
Yes, you were horribly hurt.
Yes, you felt powerless in your pain.
Yes, it happened to you.
But you are not alone.
You did not drown.
In avoiding the shadows and embracing the blessings contained in this prose,
you can climb into the ship of compassion
to safely cross the seas of change.

Blessings,
Jo Lyn

Divine Light

Divine Light

Divine Light

“Meditative insights flow through me and around me and as me…
something akin to the relationship between the sand and the sea.
If I don’t record them in words,
they are washed away with the next wave of energy.

Yesterday I experienced a beautiful dream,
in which I was cleaning a marquise diamond lens that projects my soul into form…
using a special cloth that picks up and removes every smudge of distortion.

Speaking compassion phrases as I performed this labor of love,
I was able to thoroughly clean every facet of the gem – front, back, side, top, bottom…
It became so squeaky clean that divine light shown through in pristine brilliance….

Then suddenly it seemed there was another diamond crystal lens…
then another…
then another…
An infinite multiplicity of diamond crystals shining soul light into form…
as innumerable as the sands of the sea…

Then came the realization that these all exist inside of me,
reflected and embodied in every component of every cell….

Divine light exists within me – beautiful liquid soul light embodied into form….
As I saw these in my mind’s eye,
I also received a physical flow of waves of spirit inside of me…
from the tips of my toes to the crown of my head…

Joyful flow,
Joyful soul.”

Thank you, thank you, thank you…
Jo Lyn Cornelsen

The Compassion Component

The Compassion Component

The Compassion Component

I am finding that adding a compassion component to ancestral healing processes softens my frustration
at having to face the empathic and organic pain that shows up in my own body.

In other words – I realized that though I am able to use holistic healing processes
to identify and release the pain and underlying emotions,
I still held resentment and resistance toward the pain and the process.

Sometimes I have railed against my ancestors.
Sometimes against God.
Most often, against myself for not already being perfect enlightenment in form.

Yesterday, I was able to let go and simply accept what is.
And my body began to relax on a deeper level.

This morning I awoke after an unusual 8 full hours of continuous sleep,
with a feeling of being whole in body, mind and spirit.
It felt so amazing that I didn’t want to move.
So I just breathed deeply, focusing on my heart space,
treasuring the feeling of being one with the Divine…

Until my body let me know it was time to get up and go…

Thank you for listening.
Much Love,
Jo Lyn

Wholeness

Wholeness

Wholeness…. the goal is authentic wholeness.

This morning I realized I had been focusing my healing statements around getting rid of what I don’t want… identifying negative trapped emotions, and using the healing processes to let them go.
I have lived so many years in various patterns of struggle that I needed a multi-faceted healing process.
I have used The Emotion Code, The Body Code, Energy Medicine, Craniosacral Therapy, Quantum Touch, Theta Healing and my own SoulTalk to release many millions of trapped ancestral emotions, traumas, offensive energies and the resonances of diseases.

All this has helped me and my family (and some clients) exponentially.
The goal is to release these old energies and be able to be free – to feel myself whole in body, mind and soul.
Results show in my increased ability to handle every day life without being emotionally triggered…
by responding rather than reacting.
I am much happier and healthier, it is true,
but I reached an impasse’….characterized by a feeling of numbness…
blandness… nothingness… almost emptiness.

Who am I now, that all the stress and crisis is gone?
How do I proceed in my life, when the old motivations of fear and scarcity no longer fuel my choices and my actions?
Wholeness, to me, includes feeling on purpose – KNOWING that I am in the right place, at the right time of my life, doing the right things….
Wholeness includes knowing how and where I am meant to contribute to my family…
my community… my world.
Authentic Wholeness, to me, includes being in purpose and on purpose.

Thankfully, as I seek to align with the Divine Creator in all Truth, I am led in my search for growth.

At this time, I am experiencing the Compassion Key Soul Created Wealth program,
mentored by Edward Mannix, accompanied by many soul friends on a similar path.
At different places in our respective journeys, pure compassion brings us together.

I heard Edward’s message differently on this last Soul Created Wealth and Planetary Healing call.
The Compassion Key training is uniquely different from the other healing modalities I have studied.
He said to decide what I want, format it into an “I deserve” phrase, intuitively test the truth of my phrase,
and give myself compassion for not yet having what I want.
Then spend 20 minutes every day on self directed compassion regarding this, and see where it takes me.

Today, I applied the approach of giving myself compassion for what I want, but do not now have.
What do I want, when my purpose is not clear?
What do I want?
I want to be whole.
I want to feel free.
I want my body to be healed and functional,
so I no longer have to look for the handicap parking spaces
and plan how to get from my car to the store where I can hold onto a cart.
Jesus said to a cripple, “Take up thy bed and walk.” And the man walked. I do not doubt this.
Miracles do happen. Some manifest quickly, others take time.
My health and strength are improved from just 6 months ago…
Yet I still struggle.
I would like to let go of the struggle and function on purpose in joy and ease.
I’m sure the scarcity mindset has limited my health, wealth and relationships in many ways.

“So sorry you are still in struggle.
So sorry for the years of scarcity.
So sorry you inherited so much energetic trauma.
So sorry they taught you that you must struggle all your life.
So sorry they said life was not worth living unless you lived hard.
So sorry the world beat you up.
So sorry the world proved them right.
So sorry you lost it all….
So sorry you were not tough enough.
So sorry the negativity affected your physical health.
So sorry you were stuck for so long.”

I deserve better. I deserve to be slim, energetic, strong and powerful.
“I’m so sorry you are not yet slim, energetic, strong and powerful.
When was I ever slim, energetic, strong and powerful?

In meditation, I got a visual of myself at age 8, running with joyful abandon
around the play yard at our family home….
running and playing with friends, sure footed, so confident in my body…
so confident in having a great time using our imaginations in play…
and I began to feel it…
I remembered what it felt like to being whole and free in my body.

Another visual opened up – this time on the playground at school, in imaginative play,
our group of girls were wild horses running free, and the boys were cowboys
come to bring us to the corral by the twirly bars.

Running, running, running…
Chasing and being chased…
love the running, running, running….

They “caught” the others, who were now happily twirling on the twirly bars…
Not me… I was still free…
Running, running, running….
Powerful energy surged within me and I was uncatchable…

“Hey recess is almost over!
We have to catch this last wild horse and go back in!”…

So I allowed myself to be caught….
but not easily…
they grabbed my arms,
and still I bucked and pulled,
challenging the cowboys’ abilities….
“This one is really wild!” they yelled at each other…
all of them coming to help catch the last wild horse…

Suddenly the school bell rang and the game was over…
We all ran to line up at the school door….
Huffing and puffing,
Exhilarated by the exercise…
Filing in for a drink of water and then to our classroom desks…
Settling down to my schoolwork,
completely whole and on purpose with who I was in the current moment.

They say that in Quantum Physics, reality is malleable, that what we choose now can change the past.
They say in Theta Healing that unless a person can know what it feels like
to do or be something, they cannot create it in physical reality.
Today, I remembered what it felt like to be whole and free.
I choose now to bring that feeling from my past to my present…

Slim, energetic, strong, powerful and whole,
Body, mind and spirit.
I am whole.
I am me.
I am free.

Healing Dreams

Healing Dreams

After attending another Compassion Key session led by Edward Mannix,
I dreamed compassion statements all night long,
becoming consciously aware of this as I began to awake in the early morning hours.
 
Most of the statements repeated in my mind were things like:
“I’m so sorry they didn’t teach you the truth about money.
I’m so sorry they said you’d never be rich.
I’m so sorry they said you couldn’t manage money.
I’m so sorry you can never be rich.”
 
I’ve done much energy work and holistic healing regarding old misconceptions and trapped emotions.
I know the truth – that my soul value is infinite and this world is only transitory…
so none of these phrases triggered any emotional hurt.
Rather, they felt strangely comforting, so I kept going… and as the words began to shift, they touched deeper and deeper into my psyche…
 
“I’m so sorry you can’t have money because you’re a girl.
I’m so sorry girls are not smart enough to have money.
I’m so sorry he said you’d never be rich if you married him.
I’m so sorry he didn’t know the truth of who you are.
I’m so sorry he valued money more than the joy and happiness of his children.
I’m so sorry he held so many inner conflicts from his own childhood.
I’m so sorry his inner pain and conflicts affected your life experiences in such a big way.
I’m so sorry you have experienced poverty but can never experience wealth.
I’m so sorry you’ll never get to see what it feels like to be generous in a big way in the world.
I’m so sorry you will never achieve your dreams.
I’m so sorry big dreams coming true is for other people, not you.
I”m so sorry you had to ask permission to buy anything for yourself.
I’m so sorry you couldn’t spend $8 for a white blouse unless you asked permission.
I’m so sorry you weren’t worth it.
I’m so sorry you were not trusted with money.
I’m so sorry he didn’t know what to do with money himself.
I’m so sorry he thought if he actually got money, someone would come and take it all away.
I’m so sorry when you got money, the economy crashed and it was all taken away.
I’m so sorry you proved him right.
I’m so sorry you couldn’t be trusted with money.
I’m so sorry that no matter how you studied, you couldn’t figure out how to keep the money and grow it into wealth.
I’m so sorry you didn’t have a positive money blueprint.
I’m so sorry you were stupid with money.
I’m so sorry you can’t trust yourself with money.
I’m so sorry they don’t trust you with money.
I’m so sorry you don’t trust you with money.
I’m so sorry you aren’t trustworthy….”
 
Caught in the pain of the moment, the tears began to flow.
I knew there was something deeper coming up, and I asked….
“What do I do with this overwhelming emotion that I can’t trust myself,
What do I do with this feeling of shame that at a core level, I am not trustworthy?
If I am not trustworthy, I have no integrity….
Then who am I???”
 
I paused… wondering how I can solve this… for I know that as a child of God
I am loved all the way to eternity and back….
Yet still, I felt this deep despair of unworthiness…
“How can I come to a place of peace?”
“Is there an underlying reason for this feeling of being untrustworthy?
No
Is there a hidden underlying reason for this feeling of being untrustworthy?
Yes
I shifted to using The Emotion Code healing modality…
and discovered ancestral trapped emotions, many instances of
insecurity,
guilt and
forlorn,
in three different ancestral lines
many generations back….
Father’s Mother’s line…
Mother’s Mother’s line…
Father’s Father’s Mother’s line…
All these and other hidden, trapped ancestral emotions had been distorting the clarity of my own soul…
Contributing to my experiences while in this mortal realm…
Coloring how I experience this world…
And affecting what I create and what I pass down the generational lines.
This holistic healing process,
beginning during the night with compassion phrases,
brought to my conscious awareness the energy resonances of traumas in my ancestors’ life experience,
And now they can all be let go… and all can grow…
Sending compassion to my ancestors:
“I am so sorry for the difficult experiences you had.
I am so sorry for your trials and sorrows.
I am so sorry the energy and resonance of these trapped emotions carried down through to your descendants…”
 
Released,  the trapped emotions shift and I feel calm now, and lighter,
Allowing the natural healing processes of internal energy to flow.
My inner world becomes more balanced,
The distortion of the lens is cleared, 
for them, for me, for all who were affected…
And we are free.
 
Thank you, thank you, thank you,
It is done, it is done, it is done.
Permission Granted

Permission Granted

Permission Granted

Guidance received on May 23, 2017:
“You are hereby authorized to be all that you were meant to be,
to do all that you desire to do, and to create all that is in you to create.
This authority is vested in you by divine right from the Great Creator of All Things…”

I am enough.
I have healed enough.
I have cleared enough.
I know it.
God knows it.
My heart knows it.
I am ready.
And the universe is showing me how…

Across my desk a few weeks ago came a message from Jeff Goins, a writer’s coach,
entitled “Seven Ways to Power Up”. Jeff says:
1. Get out of your own way.
2. Filter out distractions vs your path.
3. Know who you really are.
4. Become discerning – ramp up your intuition.
5. Open up to new perspectives.
6. Respect yourself.
7. Be clear in your meaning, focus and purpose.

I realized that since my previous business life imploded,
I have been consciously working on all those things.
Jeff just outlined my process in seven succinct steps.
And I was nearly ready…
But I needed a number eight.
I needed one more thing…
I needed permission…
My own…
And God’s.

Years ago, when my outer world crashed, I lost my inner compass.
I lost my sense of who I was and what I was here to do.
I lost my sense of being valued in the world I lived in.
My sense of self-trust wavered.
Though my troubles were minuscule compared to some,
They were huge in my perspective.
When you’re in the middle of the pit of trauma and drama,
It can feel impossible to climb out.

Life is not an event, until it’s over.
While we’re still in human form, life is a process, a work in progress.
Stuff happens…
We change.
The world around us changes.
Sometimes it chews us up and spits us out.
Then we can choose.
Do we give up?
Quit?
Blame?
Cry?
Whine?
Turn inward?
Live small?
Well, maybe. Sometimes. Usually. Of course. YES. For a while, anyway.

As human’s it can take some time to process life events.
It’s natural to grieve what’s lost, especially when it was something we loved, sacrificed for, or identified with.
Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
We flail around in these stages of grief, resisting and processing change.
But “The only thing constant in this world is change.”

This world was not designed to be perfect – it was designed to provide opportunities for growth.
That’s why, “the poor will always be with us” – because something is always hitting the fan somewhere on this planet.
Whomever is rich one moment may be poor the next. Those in power now may be in disgrace later.
Those who are strong, wealthy and charitable, may experience devastating circumstances and become needy.
That’s why we are given guidance such as, “thou shalt not judge”, and “as I have loved you, love one another”.
The Great Creator knew we would need help, support, and comfort
to get through the tough stuff with our faith and hope intact or restored…
and we can do it – we can pass through this “vale of tears” and come out on the other side
more humble, teachable, grateful, accepting, allowing, peaceful,
and strong and passionate in our purpose.

It took me some time to wade through the pain and reorient to a new life situation.
What I had perceived as loss was simply a blessing – an opportunity to learn different life lessons,
though at first, I did not see it that way.
I learned that I had much spiritual cleansing to do, and I am grateful that the Spirit works gently and lovingly.
I am grateful for all the earth angels that helped me through my pain and back onto a divinely led path.
I have learned that when fully aligned with the divine, I can be at peace in the midst of chaos –
“in the world but not of the world”.
Peace gives rise to gratitude.  Gratitude empowers strength.
Strength inspires purpose. Purpose, fully lived, blooms into joy.
May we each become more whole, more of our best selves, and thus see life through new eyes.

“Permission Granted”, came the message. 
“You are hereby authorized to be all that you were meant to be,
to do all that you desire to do, and to create all that is in you to create.
This authority is vested in you by divine right from the Great Creator of All Things”

The message is clear.  We have been given permission from the Almighty,
the Great Creator of Heaven and Earth, to choose what we will be, and do, and have.
The power is in you to say yes to yourself.
I pray that you will be encouraged to choose life and light over darkness and despair.
Say yes to life, yes to love, and yes to living your gifts.

Blessings,
Jo Lyn

 

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