I am so sorry you are so human.
I am so sorry you get so caught up in the effort to control.
I am so sorry no one can do it as good as you do it.
I am so sorry you were not the only one inspired.
I am so sorry for the fear factor.
I am so sorry that smallness of mind can block the light.
I am so sorry that they were inspired too.
I am so sorry that for your creation to live and grow, you must let it go and let it flow.
All of us learn from one another. We “make things our own”, as an expression of what works for us in our own lives. I have adjusted recipes to suit my tastes. I have changed sewing patterns to add or remove features of clothing I sew, or crafts I have made. I have learned from famous writers and written my own not-so-famous pieces. In the garden, we plant seeds from plants that other people have tended and shared. We play music composed by others, and it comes out differently each time. The examples are endless.
We learn a skill, then adapt it. Should I have to certify in every holistic modality I ever read about? Impossible! Should that preclude me from using tapping or extending compassion to help someone who, in the moment, would benefit from that exercise and is asking for my help? No. We take the good from what we have learned, and expand upon it, adding our own unique flavor, and then share it again.
Where do “certifications” come from? Energy healing modalities and certifications may or may not be Divinely inspired, but they are man made. Methodologies can be structured for learning purposes, but energy, once freed, simply flows. I have studied many methods, read many books, and choose to certify in those to which I feel guided by the Spirit (and/or I am able to afford).
My goal is to align with the Divine as much as I am able, and follow the Light of the Spirit within. My goal is to experience the joy of inspired creativity.
Universally inspired expressions of love, compassion, kindness, empathy and freedom of thought and expression can never be patented or trademarked – just shared. An intuitive person easily recognizes the truth and power of compassion, and it will naturally flow from them when the need arises.
In the past, when I looked to others for validation as to whether or not I was good enough to be loved, accepted, and included, I found that I had to limit the expression of my gifts in order to “fit in”.
Sometimes we see an expression of a gift in someone else, and because of our own limitations – our fears – our own small mind – our own inadequacies – our unfamiliarity with what we see – we want to diminish or control or limit it.
Recently, an associate told me it was not possible for me to be intuitively present and focused on the needs of the person I was helping, to hold the energetic space for them, counsel them, coach them, and to use my gift of writing at the same time – saying something to the effect that only an ascended master could do it, but not me.
The old small-minded me would have been all upset at the criticism, and would have believed and reacted fearfully to those words. The present me just acknowledges the feedback and responds with the neutrality of introspective evaluation for the purpose of self-correction. The present me knows that the gifts and skills I have been given are magnified by the Spirit in the moment they are needed to help and serve others. The gifts of the Spirit are universal, and as I expand my understanding, skills and abilities, I am blessed to feel the joy of creative expression when they flow through me.
I have found that The Spirit of God within us empowers us far beyond what our small-mind, distorted perceptions of ego, negative habits, or self-defeating belief systems would normally allow.
Listening to the Spirit enlarges our capacities to serve and help others. Listening to the Spirit expands our souls and frees our light to shine in unexpected ways – whether for great and grand purposes – or equally as important – for the small, seemingly inconsequential moments that make all the difference to the One.
Let us love and honor one another.
Let the Holy Spirit guide and expand the light of our souls.
My Sacred Gift of Writing
My Sacred Gift of Healing
After our Compassion Circle Sharing call last evening, I thought to put my body in a circle of light, and give it compassion for the weight, health and balance issues that have prevailed despite all my holistic energy healing work.This self-directed compassion is a process of self-love, self-forgiveness, and self healing.
It is a process of validating emotions for the purpose of acknowledging them as real, as important, and as part of our soul’s process of exploring what we want and what we don’t want to experience… thus helping us be free to make positive life choices.In my mind’s eye, I draw a golden circle of Divine Light.
I place my body in that circle.
So sorry you are so heavy.
So sorry no matter what you do, you cannot change your stars.
So sorry you are stuck carrying other people’s burdens.
So sorry other people can release weight through learning to love themselves, but you cannot.
So sorry you are stuck in a perpetual state of chronic adrenal stress, for ever and ever and ever and ever and always.
So sorry your parasympathetic nervous system is so shattered, and you can never heal.
So sorry the stress you carry is not a burden you can ever put down.
So sorry you can send other’s burdens to the light, but not your own.
So sorry you feel you have to save the world.
So sorry you contracted to be in servitude forever.
So sorry work and service have to be hard.
So sorry you don’t know how to serve from a space of joy and love.
So sorry your world cannot be light and easy.
So sorry it is so difficult to throw off generational burdens.
So sorry they carried heavy burdens, so it wouldn’t be fair if you lightened your own load.
So sorry those burdens are so heavy your legs can no longer hold you up.
So sorry you have to become disabled in order to be relieved of your burdens.
So sorry now you have become a burden to others.
So sorry for your sorrows.
so I leave my body in the circle of light…
Intermittently, I wake up and check the circle.
Yep, my body is still there.
I give more compassion each time I awake.
So sorry you are stuck there.
So sorry you will always be stuck.
A few more hours of sleep – it is still there in the circle.
So sorry there is nowhere to go.
So sorry there is only shadow in that circle.
So sorry a circle of light is so dark.
So sorry you think you have to be heavy to stay alive.
So sorry you think you must be heavy to survive.
So sorry you don’t see that heaviness is what is killing you.
So sorry you don’t see that burden is too heavy.
So sorry you can’t see that weightlessness would allow you to move more freely.
So sorry you can’t see that you have the power to change.
So sorry you don’t see that you can give yourself permission to release the lot of it.
So sorry you don’t see that you can release it and let it go while still in this physical body.
So sorry you can’t figure out how to let it go without dying.
So sorry your cells think they are protecting you from harm by chelating emotional toxins.
So sorry you are too afraid to see your truth.
So sorry you cannot just let it all go.
So sorry you cannot love yourself just the way you are.
I awake in the morning – yep… my body is still in the circle… but I am on my way to deep water aerobics, so I can’t stop and focus for a session. It will have to wait.
My swimsuit on, I’m in the pool.
In between the instructor’s guidance,
I check that circle of light.
My body is still there, but it is all crumpled up.
It looks like a pile of discarded clothing.
Blacks and browns and blues.
Shall I send it compassion now?
Okay… and I go my merry way,
able to perform full range of motion in the water,
moving there in ways I cannot do on dry land.
My lips have been chapped for weeks.
Ever since Mother passed away my lips have dried out, peeled off, become soft again, only to dry out again.
Sometimes my lips feel like a snake shedding it’s skin.
Yes, I use amazingly good lip stuff.
Yes, I stay well hydrated.
Water water everywhere, inside and out.
Still, I’m shedding my skin.
On my way home I check again.
Yep, my body is still in the circle of light,
all crumpled up like wadded up fabric…
Shall I do a compassion session now?
Once home, I dry my hair, eat breakfast, send my husband off to work, and sit at the computer.
I write my story of Clearing Deep Resentments, (4 hour project) totally losing track of time.
I love expressing myself through words.
Words have so many nuances.
I love that I can muscle test and know which words to use.
I love that when it’s the wrong word or phrase,
My intuition will lead me to the right ones.
Those I know who don’t love writing
think I am compelled to write by some evil magician or because of an odd pathological obsessive compulsive behavior.
But truth being – I write because I love to write.
I can express myself through the written word
in a way that satisfies my soul.
I write to process.
I write for healing.
I check my circle of light.
Is my body still a crumpled pile of clothing?
Do I see the crumpled pile?
Is my body still in the circle of light?
Is my body light in the circle of light?
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
It is done, it is done, it is done.
The Deep Waters of Grief
Each stage is a season, bringing both a blessing and a shadow.
How you fare through the transition is a matter of perspective and choice.
And of course, it helps to reach out to compassionate hearts
and kind hands to help you on your way.
A merciful temporary shield of protection.
An insulating numbness,
protecting your psyche from the magnitude of what just happened,
Denial mercifully allows you retain the strength needed to step up
and do what needs to be done in this, your most immediate hour of need.
Denial can be so deceptively comforting you may be tempted to stay here forever.
Don’t stay cocooned here too long, or you’ll miss out on the rest of your life.
A catalyzing, actionable energy.
Anger brings with it the ability to effect powerful change in split-seconds.
Misdirected through ignorance, blame or imperfect perception,
Anger can damage and destroy a sensitive, fragile new beginning,
plunging all back into depths of despair.
An opportunity for introspection.
Bargaining allows you to look at all the angles of your tragedy,
and realize the magnitude of the part you played in each scene.
Such conscious awareness can enlighten the soul for the highest and best good.
Endless examination of what went right and what went wrong,
and all the “coulda’s, woulda’s, and shoulda’s”
that may or may not have been done differently
can imprison you, powerlessly, in the past.
Stabbed and wounded,
Depression becomes your respectable retreat, your safe space,
where you are allowed to process this epic truth –
Your Life, as you knew it, will never be the same.
Do not fear the pain.
Even embrace it.
Fully feel the twisting blade of despair,
And share your anguish with a trusted, nonjudgmental soul.
Only then, when the magnitude of your loss is fully validated,
will the sharpness soften and the tide recede and you discover
there is rest and renewal to be found in these quiet depths.
Excessive indulgence in Depression can become endlessly disabling.
Do not succumb to the temptation to wield Depression
as a weapon of self-pity against your present and your future,
for left unchecked, it will steal your ability to love,
and that, my dear, would be the greatest tragedy of all.
Oh blessed is the day when you awaken from sorrow and hear a song of joy again!
Acceptance peeps slowly, gently, up through the receding pain,
Just tiny moments of awareness seeking sunlight through snow frozen field.
You still breathe the breath of life.
And alive, enlightened by the lessons, you can choose to walk more meaningfully.
Defeat is the shadow side of Acceptance.
Giving up is the sin.
The true sorrow is if you let the pain dim the light of your soul
and the world loses you… and your purpose… and your natural expression of joy.
Yes, you were horribly hurt.
Yes, you felt powerless in your pain.
Yes, it happened to you.
But you are not alone.
You did not drown.
In avoiding the shadows and embracing the blessings contained in this prose,
you can climb into the ship of compassion
to safely cross the seas of change.
Divine Compassion from The Still Small Voice
Humbly, after a sleepless, anguished night,
I dared to invite God into my meditation.
I view God as my Heavenly Father,
and I as one of his daughters…
– a “Divine Spark” so to speak.
Daughters should be able to speak to their parents, right?
To say what ever is in their hearts?
To seek guidance, comfort and encouragement?
To be protected and loved?
Yes, sweet one.
It is okay to talk to me.
I am always here for you.
Dear God, I asked, anguished,
Am I on track?
Am I progressing through this world of tears,
As I was meant to do?
Yes, you are.
But sometimes – it just hurts so much.
I feel like I’ve lost my way.
You knew this would happen.
You wanted to grow.
These experiences are your lessons.
Okay,okay. I get that.
No whining. Toughen up.
But, sometimes I feel so far away.
Sometimes, I just can’t hear your voice.
Sometimes, I feel like I’m walking through the darkness.
I’ve been struggling so hard, trying to fight my way back.
Aching to feel you near.
Because, when I feel you touch my heart,
No pain is too sharp.
No sorrow is too deep.
No sacrifice too great.
No path is too difficult.
Aligned with the Divine, I am whole.
Separate, I am bereft.
I am so sorry.
I am so sorry for all the hurts.
I am so sorry for all the confusion.
I am so sorry for all the sorrows.
I am so sorry for all the separation.
I am so sorry it feels like I am so far away.
I am so sorry you have forgotten your Divine Self.
I am so sorry you have forgotten how to hear the truth within.
I am so sorry some lessons seem so harsh.
I am so sorry some lessons take so long to learn.
I am so sorry you have to ask if it’s okay to talk to me.
You are so loved.
Learn to listen to the truth inside you…
Learn to discern the difference between
the fearful emotions of your worldly self
and the calm, peaceful confidence in your Divine Self.
Listen, Listen, to the Still, Small Voice.