The Deep Waters of Grief
Each stage is a season, bringing both a blessing and a shadow.
How you fare through the transition is a matter of perspective and choice.
And of course, it helps to reach out to compassionate hearts
and kind hands to help you on your way.
A merciful temporary shield of protection.
An insulating numbness,
protecting your psyche from the magnitude of what just happened,
Denial mercifully allows you retain the strength needed to step up
and do what needs to be done in this, your most immediate hour of need.
Denial can be so deceptively comforting you may be tempted to stay here forever.
Don’t stay cocooned here too long, or you’ll miss out on the rest of your life.
A catalyzing, actionable energy.
Anger brings with it the ability to effect powerful change in split-seconds.
Misdirected through ignorance, blame or imperfect perception,
Anger can damage and destroy a sensitive, fragile new beginning,
plunging all back into depths of despair.
An opportunity for introspection.
Bargaining allows you to look at all the angles of your tragedy,
and realize the magnitude of the part you played in each scene.
Such conscious awareness can enlighten the soul for the highest and best good.
Endless examination of what went right and what went wrong,
and all the “coulda’s, woulda’s, and shoulda’s”
that may or may not have been done differently
can imprison you, powerlessly, in the past.
Stabbed and wounded,
Depression becomes your respectable retreat, your safe space,
where you are allowed to process this epic truth –
Your Life, as you knew it, will never be the same.
Do not fear the pain.
Even embrace it.
Fully feel the twisting blade of despair,
And share your anguish with a trusted, nonjudgmental soul.
Only then, when the magnitude of your loss is fully validated,
will the sharpness soften and the tide recede and you discover
there is rest and renewal to be found in these quiet depths.
Excessive indulgence in Depression can become endlessly disabling.
Do not succumb to the temptation to wield Depression
as a weapon of self-pity against your present and your future,
for left unchecked, it will steal your ability to love,
and that, my dear, would be the greatest tragedy of all.
Oh blessed is the day when you awaken from sorrow and hear a song of joy again!
Acceptance peeps slowly, gently, up through the receding pain,
Just tiny moments of awareness seeking sunlight through snow frozen field.
You still breathe the breath of life.
And alive, enlightened by the lessons, you can choose to walk more meaningfully.
Defeat is the shadow side of Acceptance.
Giving up is the sin.
The true sorrow is if you let the pain dim the light of your soul
and the world loses you… and your purpose… and your natural expression of joy.
Yes, you were horribly hurt.
Yes, you felt powerless in your pain.
Yes, it happened to you.
But you are not alone.
You did not drown.
In avoiding the shadows and embracing the blessings contained in this prose,
you can climb into the ship of compassion
to safely cross the seas of change.
Wholeness…. the goal is authentic wholeness.
This morning I realized I had been focusing my healing statements around getting rid of what I don’t want… identifying negative trapped emotions, and using the healing processes to let them go.
I have lived so many years in various patterns of struggle that I needed a multi-faceted healing process.
I have used The Emotion Code, The Body Code, Energy Medicine, Craniosacral Therapy, Quantum Touch, Theta Healing and my own SoulTalk to release many millions of trapped ancestral emotions, traumas, offensive energies and the resonances of diseases.
All this has helped me and my family (and some clients) exponentially.
The goal is to release these old energies and be able to be free – to feel myself whole in body, mind and soul.
Results show in my increased ability to handle every day life without being emotionally triggered…
by responding rather than reacting.
I am much happier and healthier, it is true,
but I reached an impasse’….characterized by a feeling of numbness…
blandness… nothingness… almost emptiness.
Who am I now, that all the stress and crisis is gone?
How do I proceed in my life, when the old motivations of fear and scarcity no longer fuel my choices and my actions?
Wholeness, to me, includes feeling on purpose – KNOWING that I am in the right place, at the right time of my life, doing the right things….
Wholeness includes knowing how and where I am meant to contribute to my family…
my community… my world.
Authentic Wholeness, to me, includes being in purpose and on purpose.
Thankfully, as I seek to align with the Divine Creator in all Truth, I am led in my search for growth.
At this time, I am experiencing the Compassion Key Soul Created Wealth program,
mentored by Edward Mannix, accompanied by many soul friends on a similar path.
At different places in our respective journeys, pure compassion brings us together.
I heard Edward’s message differently on this last Soul Created Wealth and Planetary Healing call.
The Compassion Key training is uniquely different from the other healing modalities I have studied.
He said to decide what I want, format it into an “I deserve” phrase, intuitively test the truth of my phrase,
and give myself compassion for not yet having what I want.
Then spend 20 minutes every day on self directed compassion regarding this, and see where it takes me.
Today, I applied the approach of giving myself compassion for what I want, but do not now have.
What do I want, when my purpose is not clear?
What do I want?
I want to be whole.
I want to feel free.
I want my body to be healed and functional,
so I no longer have to look for the handicap parking spaces
and plan how to get from my car to the store where I can hold onto a cart.
Jesus said to a cripple, “Take up thy bed and walk.” And the man walked. I do not doubt this.
Miracles do happen. Some manifest quickly, others take time.
My health and strength are improved from just 6 months ago…
Yet I still struggle.
I would like to let go of the struggle and function on purpose in joy and ease.
I’m sure the scarcity mindset has limited my health, wealth and relationships in many ways.
“So sorry you are still in struggle.
So sorry for the years of scarcity.
So sorry you inherited so much energetic trauma.
So sorry they taught you that you must struggle all your life.
So sorry they said life was not worth living unless you lived hard.
So sorry the world beat you up.
So sorry the world proved them right.
So sorry you lost it all….
So sorry you were not tough enough.
So sorry the negativity affected your physical health.
So sorry you were stuck for so long.”
I deserve better. I deserve to be slim, energetic, strong and powerful.
“I’m so sorry you are not yet slim, energetic, strong and powerful.
When was I ever slim, energetic, strong and powerful?
In meditation, I got a visual of myself at age 8, running with joyful abandon
around the play yard at our family home….
running and playing with friends, sure footed, so confident in my body…
so confident in having a great time using our imaginations in play…
and I began to feel it…
I remembered what it felt like to being whole and free in my body.
Another visual opened up – this time on the playground at school, in imaginative play,
our group of girls were wild horses running free, and the boys were cowboys
come to bring us to the corral by the twirly bars.
Running, running, running…
Chasing and being chased…
love the running, running, running….
They “caught” the others, who were now happily twirling on the twirly bars…
Not me… I was still free…
Running, running, running….
Powerful energy surged within me and I was uncatchable…
“Hey recess is almost over!
We have to catch this last wild horse and go back in!”…
So I allowed myself to be caught….
but not easily…
they grabbed my arms,
and still I bucked and pulled,
challenging the cowboys’ abilities….
“This one is really wild!” they yelled at each other…
all of them coming to help catch the last wild horse…
Suddenly the school bell rang and the game was over…
We all ran to line up at the school door….
Huffing and puffing,
Exhilarated by the exercise…
Filing in for a drink of water and then to our classroom desks…
Settling down to my schoolwork,
completely whole and on purpose with who I was in the current moment.
They say that in Quantum Physics, reality is malleable, that what we choose now can change the past.
They say in Theta Healing that unless a person can know what it feels like
to do or be something, they cannot create it in physical reality.
Today, I remembered what it felt like to be whole and free.
I choose now to bring that feeling from my past to my present…
Slim, energetic, strong, powerful and whole,
Body, mind and spirit.
I am whole.
I am me.
I am free.
Soul Created Wealth and Planetary Healing
Fascinated by the power of pure compassion in the process of healing from the inside out, I enrolled in the certification courses to become a Compassion Key practitioner over the course of the next year… or two. Just the fact that I enrolled speaks volumes to the effectiveness of this work. I attended a bonus call for the “Soul Created Wealth and Planetary Healing” Compassion Key program, listening and taking notes for over 3 1/2 hours.
The call was awesome. Epic, even.
Regardless of my commitment, however, about half way through I found myself wanting to bail…wishing the call was over.
Yet I knew intuitively that I needed to focus fully on what was happening for each person receiving a one-on-one facilitation with our instructor, Edward Mannix.
So why was I wanting to bail out? To run away?
The answer: my subconscious was trying to keep me “safe” in my status quo.
My ego feared the shift that would surely come by releasing more of the emotional blocks and karmic residue that has kept me stuck in so many ways.
Courage inspired by intuition won out… I made myself sit still and keep typing… which kept me listening and engaged in the content.
Thus, the inner shift of those who volunteered for one-on-one facilitation became MY shift… and MY blessing.
Each facilitation was different, as each person’s needs differed. The facilitator listened, gently exploring the issue at hand to get a sense of the underlying causation, then led the participant in applying compassion statements intuitively. Beautiful work!
I am continually amazed that the simple process of listening and facilitating self-directed compassion can be the catalyst to bring up so much emotional baggage that is ready to be cleared. To me, the process of assisting someone to receive self-directed compassion is like sharing the pure love of Christ.
A little back story:
My father was a brilliant man, but also a great skeptic who suffered from inherited and experiential scarcity. He taught me early on in life to separate the physical from the emotional, so I sometimes have trouble integrating my inner generous world of spirit, thought and emotion with my outer world – struggling to achieve balance the areas of physical health and financial well being.
On this Compassion Key call, it was interesting to me to realize that immediate profound physical shifts can occur simultaneously with emotional release and spiritual cleansing. The group facilitation and planetary healing session at the end was especially intuitive and powerful – which is what I believe my spirit wanted to participate in.
I am glad I “stuck it out”.
I awoke this morning about 5 am with a curious sense of lightness… a new level of well being… from the inside out. This new feeling is like I’m breathing from every cell in my body – very airy, light and happy. I enjoyed it for an hour… then fell back to sleep. Upon awakening, I noticed a fear that the new feeling won’t last… that I’ll go back to being my old struggling heavy self.
It’s time to apply some self-directed compassion, to clear more of the karma obscuring the lens of my soul’s projection into this mortal existence.
Clearing my own experiential and inherited ancestral problematic issues in this manner frees us all from distorted perceptions,
and help us more fully align with the Divine.
“I’m so sorry you believe the miracle won’t last.
I’m so sorry miracles are only temporary.
I’m so sorry miracles tease you and then fly away.
I’m so sorry you don’t deserve real change.
I’m so sorry you are meant to be stuck in perpetual struggle.
I’m so sorry change is only allowed to happen in your imagination.
I’m so sorry you aren’t allowed to change your physical state of being.
I’m so sorry you are required to carry the heaviness for all eternity.
I’m so sorry your life contract requires you to struggle forever.
I’m so sorry your’e not allowed to rewrite the contract.
I’m so sorry they taught you that money only comes through struggle.
I’m so sorry you have to carry the suffering of your ancestors forever.
I’m so sorry there is never an end to struggle and suffering.
I’m so sorry you didn’t know that some people just spin a few plates and money flows in, sufficient for their needs, and even more than they need… enough to share with others.
I’m so sorry you can’t bridge the gap from having to work hard for money to spinning plates that simply serve up money.
I’m so sorry that gap is an uncross-able chasm.
I’m so sorry there is only a little money on your side of the gap.
I’m sorry the infinite piles of money are inaccessible on the other side of the chasm.
I’m so sorry you have all the materials and tools you need to build a strong, beautiful bridge to the other side of the gap, but you can’t seem to put it together.
I’m so sorry you think you would have to build that bridge all by yourself.
I’m so sorry it seems easier to scramble down the cliff to the bottom and try to climb up the impossible cliff on the other side.
I’m sorry they told you it is necessary for you to get hurt and broken and stuck in the bottom of the chasm because that is what they did.
I’m so sorry you are not allowed to exceed their level of growth and success. I am so sorry for thier sorrows.
I am so grateful that more light is beginning to flow.
I am so happy that the lens of your soul’s projection into this world is becoming more clear.
I’m so happy that more light of your soul is projecting into form.
I am so happy that the real you feels light, airy, and joyful.
I am so happy you stayed on that very long call last night so you could receive the blessing.”
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
“In every culture and in every medical tradition before ours, healing was accomplished by moving energy.” ~ Albert Szent-Györgyi, Nobel Prize for Medicine Recipient
After attending another Compassion Key session led by Edward Mannix,
I dreamed compassion statements all night long,
becoming consciously aware of this as I began to awake in the early morning hours.
Most of the statements repeated in my mind were things like:
“I’m so sorry they didn’t teach you the truth about money.
I’m so sorry they said you’d never be rich.
I’m so sorry they said you couldn’t manage money.
I’m so sorry you can never be rich.”
I’ve done much energy work and holistic healing regarding old misconceptions and trapped emotions.
I know the truth – that my soul value is infinite and this world is only transitory…
so none of these phrases triggered any emotional hurt.
Rather, they felt strangely comforting, so I kept going… and as the words began to shift, they touched deeper and deeper into my psyche…
“I’m so sorry you can’t have money because you’re a girl.
I’m so sorry girls are not smart enough to have money.
I’m so sorry he said you’d never be rich if you married him.
I’m so sorry he didn’t know the truth of who you are.
I’m so sorry he valued money more than the joy and happiness of his children.
I’m so sorry he held so many inner conflicts from his own childhood.
I’m so sorry his inner pain and conflicts affected your life experiences in such a big way.
I’m so sorry you have experienced poverty but can never experience wealth.
I’m so sorry you’ll never get to see what it feels like to be generous in a big way in the world.
I’m so sorry you will never achieve your dreams.
I’m so sorry big dreams coming true is for other people, not you.
I”m so sorry you had to ask permission to buy anything for yourself.
I’m so sorry you couldn’t spend $8 for a white blouse unless you asked permission.
I’m so sorry you weren’t worth it.
I’m so sorry you were not trusted with money.
I’m so sorry he didn’t know what to do with money himself.
I’m so sorry he thought if he actually got money, someone would come and take it all away.
I’m so sorry when you got money, the economy crashed and it was all taken away.
I’m so sorry you proved him right.
I’m so sorry you couldn’t be trusted with money.
I’m so sorry that no matter how you studied, you couldn’t figure out how to keep the money and grow it into wealth.
I’m so sorry you didn’t have a positive money blueprint.
I’m so sorry you were stupid with money.
I’m so sorry you can’t trust yourself with money.
I’m so sorry they don’t trust you with money.
I’m so sorry you don’t trust you with money.
I’m so sorry you aren’t trustworthy….”
Caught in the pain of the moment, the tears began to flow.
I knew there was something deeper coming up, and I asked….
“What do I do with this overwhelming emotion that I can’t trust myself,
What do I do with this feeling of shame that at a core level, I am not trustworthy?
If I am not trustworthy, I have no integrity….
I paused… wondering how I can solve this… for I know that as a child of God
I am loved all the way to eternity and back….
Yet still, I felt this deep despair of unworthiness…
“How can I come to a place of peace?”
“Is there an underlying reason for this feeling of being untrustworthy?
Is there a hidden underlying reason for this feeling of being untrustworthy?
I shifted to using The Emotion Code healing modality…
and discovered ancestral trapped emotions, many instances of
in three different ancestral lines
many generations back….
Father’s Father’s Mother’s line…
All these and other hidden, trapped ancestral emotions had been distorting the clarity of my own soul…
Contributing to my experiences while in this mortal realm…
Coloring how I experience this world…
And affecting what I create and what I pass down the generational lines.This holistic healing process,
beginning during the night with compassion phrases,
brought to my conscious awareness the energy resonances of traumas in my ancestors’ life experience,
And now they can all be let go… and all can grow…
Sending compassion to my ancestors:
“I am so sorry for the difficult experiences you had.
I am so sorry for your trials and sorrows.
I am so sorry the energy and resonance of these trapped emotions carried down through to your descendants…”
Released, the trapped emotions shift and I feel calm now, and lighter,
Allowing the natural healing processes of internal energy to flow.
My inner world becomes more balanced,
The distortion of the lens is cleared, for them, for me, for all who were affected…
And we are free.
Thank you, thank you, thank you,
It is done, it is done, it is done.
Two Worries and One Knowing
This morning I said Goodbye to Two Worries…
Two Worries that have colored my world
For as long as I can remember…
And that’s a very, very long time.
I did not realize that these are just worldly worries…
I did not realize how heavy they were to carry…
Nor how many decisions I could have made differently…
And how many more amazing experiences I could have enjoyed…
Had I not ignorantly enlisted these worries as life-long companions.
Because I carried the worries,
I created a world that included them…
A world of efforting and struggle against those two worries…
Which compounded them into four worries…
And those into more worries…
Now I see how truly useless these worldly worries are….
And, now that truth has become evident to me,
I also see that I can lay them down as easily as I picked them up,..
I can surrender these worldly burdens and simply let them go.
This morning I said Goodbye to Two Worries.
Without these Two Worries,
The answer comes readily.
That has been my companion for longer than I can remember.
Just BE the Love you wish to see in the World.
– A SoulTalk message from Jo Lyn
This Thanksgiving was different.
No houseful of family or guests.
No hours in the kitchen preparing turkey and fixings….
We let our grown children experience their holiday without us…
And as new “empty nesters”,
we chose something different.
He wanted food and football…
I wanted chocolate and sweetness…
and added in some service as well.
Thanksgiving Day with my husband’s sister and her husband…
Dining out, we enjoyed exquisite meals…
Grateful for this experience of Affluence, Ease and Joy…
Then a movie… Marvel Adventures of Dr. Strange…
A traditional doctor of western medicine…
Experiencing a traumatic wake-up-call,
Broadening his awareness into the
World of Energetic Power and Force…
Chakras… Astral Bodies… Dealing with Offensive Entities…
Altered Perceptions… Spells… Crystals…
Manipulating Space and Time… Portals… Vortexes…
“Lions, Tigers and Bears, Oh My”….
If you understand the world of energy… you’ll love this!!
Friday Football on the Big Screen,
A comfortable night in our own bed,
Saturday morning service at the Seattle LDS Temple,
Then a “quick” trip across the State to visit my sweet Mother….
Who currently lives with the friends who “bought the back pasture”
over 40 years ago, and established their homestead there.
It quickly became evident that her caregivers’ health is precarious.
His bulging disc and 6 months of sciatica pain
led to back surgery scheduled for Monday…
and they had made no provision for extra help for Mother…
just planning to leave her “home alone” while he is in surgery….
Some optimists live in a state of blissful denial…
And keep going despite overwhelming odds…
Until they just can’t anymore.
I did that.
The ostrich syndrome.
Works only in the short term.
Not for the long term.
Change is always coming.
We can resist… and struggle…
Or accept… and shape the change…
Leave my 94 year old Mother “Home Alone”?
We decided to stay longer….
“What if he doesn’t get better, Jo Lyn?” she asked. “What shall we do?”
I lean toward her in compassionate strength…
“We will deal with it together, one step at a time.”
He no longer has the strength to serve Mother’s needs,
And she is too frail to manage the wheelchair…
And it’s clear to us that it’s time for her to move.
But six months ago she adamantly refused the offer of change….
A Sunday evening open discussion at my brother’s home
produced three good options from which Mother can choose.
Meditative prayer and Soultalk sessions.
Intuitive guidance received.
A list of specific actions to perform for specific family members.
So much to do, in this healing process of love…
Mother requested an outing to the bookstore on Monday.
She selected her books and went to the check stand…
Where a 60’s something customer stood by,
Who, “in-cahoots” with the clerk,
Paid for Mother’s books before she could even get out her wallet.
“Merry Christmas”, the lady said.
Surprised and startled, Mother said, “Thank you.
What just happened?” We all laughed, delighted at the exchange.
Three ladies in the store obviously recognized Mother from
her decades of Church service in the community…
But Mother no longer recognized them.
“Mother, she gave you a Christmas gift – she paid for your books.”
“Well, Thank You!” she managed again…
“And Merry Christmas to you, too!”
The ladies gather round, watching, smiling,
as mother slowly makes her way to the door.
“Merry Christmas… Merry Christmas… Merry Christmas….”
In the car, heading home, she said again,
“Why did she do that? I don’t know her from Adam or Eve!”
“Mother, she gave herself the gift of giving,
She honored you for your years of giving in the Church and community.
They knew you… perhaps you taught them as children… or led them in song…
or served at a dinner… a funeral… or helped at a wedding…
or knew them in the Daughters of Utah Pioneers….
They knew you, and honored you.
In some way, at some time, you blessed their lives,
and today, in this way, they blessed you with a simple gift.
And in blessing you, it blessed them to be able to give.
Lunchtime. A simple meal.
A request for healing for her caregiver,
who was still waiting for his surgery.
“I am concerned for him, and I am concerned for you all…”
opened a gentle discussion with Mother.
Her preferences explored…
An interim support system in activated…
She chooses my brother’s place.
It’s closer, and already designed to serve her mobility needs.
“But I will have to get rid of a bunch of stuff before I move…”
“No worries, Mom, we will help. We can work it all out.”
Traveling home before the roads ice over,
“She wants to come to you… “
I love Mother dearly, and would love for her to come to us…
To care for her for the rest of her days,
However short or long that may be.
But to be able to manage her needs with ease,
Another change is needed.
Unpacking, in a quiet moment,
I sense my departed father near.
“Hello, Dad,” I say. “Are we doing okay for Mom?”
Is it right for her to go to my brother’s place?
Do you want her to come to me?
Then here’s what I need you to help me with…
A more generous size home.
Closer to my husband’s work.
And within our stated budget.
There are Angels Among Us…
On both sides of the veil.
Aligning all for the highest and best good.
Blessing energy flows abundantly,
Bathing us all in an abundance of Affluence, Ease and Joy,
As much as we are willing and ready to receive…
I am grateful for this Gratitude Weekend…
For the spiritual gifts I am able to activate for myself and others…
for the results of my SoulTalk healing sessions…
Empathic clearing of ancestral and present emotions….
The feedback I am beginning to receive is amazing…
My sister’s disability released enough that she was able
(and courageous enough) to drive her car for the first time in 12 years.
My nephew now free of rage that trapped him for years in fear and pain and isolation.
My disabled son now working… taking on life responsibilities in a new way….
Funds sufficient for our needs…
Simple, but profound, the blessings are flowing…
A real estate transaction resolution… “Your check is ready”…
I am excited to see what shows up next.
Thank you, thank you, thank you….
Soul Talk Meditations
SoulTalk meditations dig deep into the past
Discovering myriads of inherited ancestral sorrows…
Opening a Pandora’s Box of anguish experienced by generations past…
Echoing, unresolved, compounded through the ages…
Resonating through time, dimension, space and reality…
Twisting our current mortal reality with ancient echos of hidden pains…
Troubling us with fears and insecurities,
Clouding our dreams and blocking our growth.
Discovering the raw pain of the human condition.
Why seek I this path of sorrows?
Why do I walk again these painful roads?
Why open these gates of despair and horror,
Hidden humiliation, pride, shame, shock, worthlessness and more…
Exposing anew the old vulnerabilities, despairs and heartaches?
Why not leave this mess hidden in the past?
Why not let the dead stay buried?
Love brought me to this place of compound sorrows.
Blessed with my own mortal travesty,
Defeated, lost and broken, I asked,
“Can I come home now?”
“No, said Death.
You’re not allowed” and stepped aside.
Divine Light found a window…
Compassion touched my forlorn heart
And said that faith could make me whole.
That there is more that I am meant to do
Among the souls of men.
“Seek ye first the Kingdom of God…”
“See that ye take care of these sacred things…”
I read the words.
The Spirit whispers.
And I have learned to listen.
Prayerful, meditative communion with God,
The Great Creator of All Things.
The Master Healer.
“See that ye look to God and live.”
The gift of healing.
The gift of intercessory prayer.
The gift of empathy.
The gift of writing.
The gift of soul connection.
The gift of hope.
The gift of Love.
The gift of joy.
The frailties and transient pains of my own body reveal
The anguished cries of souls long dead…
They cry out from the dust,
Trapped in the terror of unbelief from ages past,
When the Light withdrew,
Leaving them alone,
Subject to the ravages of darkness, violence and force
Of the centuries in which they lived.
I feel them.
Connected in the wee hours of the morning
I feel the spirit speak.
I ask, and the discovery charts reveal the issues ready to be released…
Do I need to know what it is?
Do I need to know where it came from?
Do I need to know how many felt this?
Can I clear this now?
I send all to the Light of God
Where the sorrows are transmuted,
Where souls are received by Angels
And guided to their next level of progression.
Once cleared, then comes a still-point moment between moments,
A quantum resting where the energies shift and settle
To a new level of perception.
A freedom from the past.
A deep breath of clarity.
And a new beginning.
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you.
It has only just begun.
Living an Expansive Life
I recently went to a live 2 day seminar at the end of a 90 day business mastermind program.
During the program, I was asked, “what do you really want out of life?”
I have pondered that question for a couple years now,
as I accomplished most of the goals I set out for myself when I was young…
and have not known what else I really wanted to pursue.
I have had a good life.
More blessed that many.
I’ve experienced “rich” and “poor”, “healthy” and “ill”, “loved” and “unloved”, and many other states of being.Having released the emotional triggers associated with the negative experiences,
and feeling blessed by the positive experiences, I’m good with all of it…
So the challenge – “what do you really want out of life?” remained a puzzle…
I could say “I want $xx,xxx” monthly to spend on whatever I want.
But my mentor said that was ridiculous. What if I needed $xxx,xxx, or $x,xxx,xxx for an emergency?
Then that lower amount would not satisfy anything at all.Looking around me at the amazingly beautiful surroundings in the hotel on the beach…
I realized that it was not a specific dollar amount that I would want to seek for.
What I really want is “An Expansive Life.”
And to me, and expansive life is the means and ability to go where-ever I would like to go,
when-ever I would like to go, to participate in whatever I would like to participate in,
and to experience whatever I would like to experience,
including to be free to learn and share with anyone I would like to come in contact with.
To me, that’s Expansive Living.
The mastermind seminar ended on Friday.
I enjoyed a beautiful evening outside dining experience with a number of wonderful new friends.
Then Saturday morning, I had several hours to spare before I needed to head to the airport.
I slept in until I woke refreshed,
Dressed simply and went out onto the walkway leading to the beach.
The weathered wood handrail ended with a couple steps down to the sand…
And I paused.
Energetic muscle testing before I left for the trip had told me that I did not need to bring my walking sticks.
My husband was not with me to lend me his hand.
I looked at the deepness of the sand mounds and “knew” that my feet would flounder in the shifting depths….
I leaned against the end of the railing…
Gazing at the ocean just 50 yards away.
Would it be okay to just stand there and look?
Would it be okay to not actually go to the water?
I could be at peace with that.
I took a few snapshots… and breathed in deeply.
The beach lounge chairs obstructed the expansiveness of the ocean…
But it was okay.
I could smell the salty air and feel the ocean breezes.
No need to go down on the sand…
because if I did, based on past experience,
chances are that I would soon be floundering around in on my knees…
And then I remembered my new desire…
To live an expansive life.
I was standing on the sidelines leaning safely on the railing.
Is that expansive?
No. Suddenly, I wanted to step out of my comfort zone…
There had to be a way.
But how could I get to the ocean?
I may have to crawl.
People would see me on my hands and knees.
It would be embarrassing.
But would that matter?
They don’t know me and I don’t know them.
People are just people.
My self limiting beliefs and physical limitations don’t affect them at all…
So why should I care about being embarrassed?
and there, off to the left,
I saw the most beautiful thing leaning against the towel stand.
I edged my way over and took hold of it…
And suddenly empowered…
Out onto the sand I went… walking upright.
Expanding my conception of what I thought I was capable of.
The sand was warm under my feet.
I made it to a beach lounge chair,
sat down and took some photos…
called my husband a continent away…
and told him of my adventures…
out where it wasn’t “safe”.
He laughed with me.
I stood again and made my way to the water…
walking ankle deep in the foam…
letting the waves rush over my feet…
I found that when standing still,
the receding water pulled the sand out from under me…
As long as I was walking…
Step by step…
Supported by the walking stick,
And enjoy the experience.
Yes. An expansive life… that’s what I want…
Oh wait… I am already living expansively…
I’m here, walking on the sand in Palm Beach.
Thank you, thank you, thank you….
Mastermind Your Life
I’ve been in Business Masterminds in the past.
I loved the learning, I loved the content, I loved the presentations,
and most of all, I loved the people.
But somehow, I couldn’t seem to maximize the experiences enough
to create the real business breakthrough results I wanted…
regardless of how much time and money I invested,
or how diligently I worked at the systems.
Floundering around, intermittently dipping one toe
in the waters of what it takes to succeed,
I saw others rising to new heights, and I asked,
“Why can’t I do the same?”
“What is holding me back?”
Ask the right questions and you’ll get the right answers.
I found that disconnect was within me.
But what, exactly was that disconnect?
And could I ever clear it?
I withdrew from the groups to regroup,
and invested in a different kind of learning…
A deep personal journey of Holistic Healing.
Along this path, insight emerged,
“line upon line, precept upon precept”….
awakening to my conscious awareness
the dusty remnants of old hurts and fears…
disconnects, heart walls,
offensive energies, resentments,
emotional triggers, old memories, grief, sorrows,
personal traumas and even dysfunctional ancestral patterns
passed down through generations of time.
“You must clear the past to be free to go forward and create a new future.”
Powerful energy healing tools and plenty of practice honed my intuitive skills.
I released bundles of hurts hiding deep within my soul.
Little by little, my fears fell away, and as my energy shifted…
the blocks that had erstwhile held me bound
dissolved – neutralized and transmuted in the light of truth.
As my inner world shifted, my physical world changed, too.
opening the door for new possibilities.
Third Time’s a Charm
A 90 day Mastermind invitation showed up in my inbox…
an opportunity to expand my capability and productivity,
in the most effective business model in the field of my choice…
Clearly this was an opportunity to test the strength of my wings
and learn from the best of the best.
I’d already collected the required software.
My budget was tight, but doable.
The resources were there…
So I just jumped in.
Great intentions are only part of the equation.
There must needs be power of purpose to fuel momentum,
and strong guidelines to hold me to the course.
90 days. I can do anything for 90 days.
Still, life happens.
Out during the critical week number three
for a not-to-be missed family reunion
gave me the feeling of always trying to catch up.
Technology snafus and misunderstandings of expectations
split my focus into too many aspects of the training simultaneously.
I tried to do everything perfectly…
but gaps in my technical expertise prove that I remain human.
Week after week of zeros on my Friday accountability reports
seemed to predict the same old story…
that I wasn’t cut out for success, even in the best program around.
One of my mentors called me on it… and she was right.
Deep within, the echoes of old self-defeating thoughts
were rising to the surface.
I checked-in to my truth…
“Is this business path still correct for me?”
“OK, how can I get through this next roadblock?”
“Don’t let anything hold you back. Find another way.”
Remembering the guidance of the Mentors,
I applied what I’d learned and just kept going.
It rings true that you can’t succeed alone…
For what is success, but personal growth
in your ability to serve those around you?
The mentorship and accountability of a Mastermind group
inspires growth and expansion.
Small actions, consistently multiplied,
create the desired results we call “success”.
My Mastermind breakthrough came about 45 days in,
listening to our Director-of-Awesome demanding
that we stop waiting to perfect our technical expertise…
and requiring us jump first to THE ONE THING that makes the most difference…
connecting with those who might actually want what we have to offer,
listening to their needs, and discovering which of them are ready to receive.
All we truly need, in order to begin, is to know what to say,
who to call, and the ability to use a telephone.
Thus released from elusive perfection,
I picked up my cell phone…
took a deep breath,
and made that first call….
And I didn’t die.
So I called another… and another… and another…
Until I began looking forward to the practice
and enjoying the conversations, regardless of their outcome.
Mastermind Your Life
Why should you join a Mastermind?
To maximize your life, of course.
We come together from many walks of life,
in different stages of accomplishment.
None of us know everything.
All of us know something.
Each of us brings our own unique gifts.
And we share.
For the benefit of all who are ready to receive.
Decide to grow.
Choose the right Mastermind for you.
Prepare for exponential growth.
Internalize your new level of productivity…
continue your momentum,
Then go for another 90 day Mastermind growth sprint.
Discover the gifts within you…
Choose where you want to go…
Learn from those who have gone there before you…
Add your own uniqueness to the mix.
Mastermind your life.
It’s the secret sauce that you can leverage for success.