Soul Writer – Transforming Grief to Joy

Soul Writer – Transforming Grief to Joy

by | Feb 20, 2024 | Authentic Wholeness, Holistic Healing, Soul Writer - Jo Lyn, Spirituality | 0 comments

Dear Higher Self,
Do you have words of wisdom for me today?
Yes of course, dear one.
Remember your nighttime meditation –
your identification of the procession of energies you have been identifying, processing, and releasing?
Grumpy pants, lethargy, and now, grief.
Grief is an energy that many wear.
A coat of many colors so to speak…
for grief has many nuances, many faces, many flavors…
Grief holds the soul in a vise like grip, stopping time in it’s tracks.
You have released the grief you were carrying for others.
Now you feel the grief in your own energy…
Go all the way back to it’s earliest conception.
Your grief was born in the contradictions your spirit encountered in this world of contradiction.
Contradiction is born of perspective.
Perspective is born of experiences,
and it goes round and round, causing misperception and grief everywhere you look.
Do a look-see on the other side of your grief,
and you will find that when viewed from the angle of divine existence,
it wafts away in the wind.
Grief is an energy.
Energies can shift and blow away.
Your grief, when processed out of your energy,
now leaves you in a space of neutrality.
What is on the other side of grief?
You can’t find it if you stay in neutrality.
But you can focus your attention on discerning the opposite of grief,
and identifying what helps you see that.
The opposite of grief, for you, is joy.
Joy is peace. Joy is gratitude. Joy is love.
Do you have those in your heart?
Yes.
Then you have just accomplished the purposeful experiment of this world –
that is, you have generated greater love from roots of grief through the core node to the stems,
the leaves, blooms, the fruit. .
That is the human experience.
To create intentionally, by choice.
You chose to come here, to experience the opposite of what you wanted to create,
and then to grow beyond it.
Paint now, with your brushes of joy, peace and love.
For in so doing, you are a creator of the universe.

Grief

Grief

by | Jul 3, 2017 | Life Transitions, Personal Empowerment | 0 comments

The Healing Process of Grief

A friend recently reached out for help after her parents died.  She expressed that she is wavering between lost, stuck and numb, and not sure how to move on in life.
Lost, stuck and numb… symptoms of deep grief. It reminded me of the grieving process our family went through upon the death of a grandson (just 12 days old)… and when we went through bad economic times (and lost our properties)… and when one of our extended family members divorced (I lost a sister in that mess…).

Life can be messy – even when you think you’re “doing things right”, things can go wrong, and people can get hurt.
And so… we grieve.

There are five basic stages of grief, outlined by medical researcher Elizabeth Kubler Ross years ago.
I learned about them in the BYU Nursing School…. it’s funny what sticks with you through the years.  There’s so much from college I’ve forgotten – but I still remember these stages of grief:

1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance
 
We can go through these stages in any order…
And when something triggers our memories of our losses, we can go through them all over again.
And we can stay stuck in any one of them for any length of time.

We discussed the grieving process in the caregiving classes I used to teach. I remember presenting this list of five stages of grief, and asking if anyone had any experiences they wanted to share.  One of my students jumped up and said “YES!”  She explained that she had been stuck in denial for 15 years following her husband’s death from a car accident – and only “woke up” when her son graduated from high school. She had missed 15 years of his life, numb-stuck in the pain of loss, which she drowned in alcohol at the local bar… while her parents raised her boy. Her son’s high school graduation was the trigger that made her realize that when her husband died, she allowed herself to “die” too…. and wasted 15 years of her life.  Yet there she was, open and excited to tell us her story.  She had found help, stopped drinking, was sober, and was training to become a caregiver and contribute to the world around her.  She was amazed to feel fully alive. It is never too late to begin again.
 
Each stage of grief serves a purpose to help us process whatever it is that hurts so much. Like navigating any life experience, it is in our best interest to listen to the Divine Spirit within us and to choose a good path going forward.  It is possible that through conscious awareness, we can choose our emotions, our mental state, our thoughts and our behaviors. Basically, we are in charge of creating our own world – our own life experience. 
 
Denial serves the purpose of keeping us from feeling the full effects of what happened, while we deal with the immediate issues at hand…. like getting through the funeral. But depression becomes part of the problem when we stay stuck there, unwilling or unable to find new ways to live.
 
Anger gives us the emotional power to take needed action in a decisive moment. Such action can be the “saving grace” in some situations. Misdirected, however, anger can be devastatingly destructive. 
 
Bargaining is sometimes the chip that makes things better – as in negotiating and compromising with someone for a win-win. But when we’ve experienced the death of a loved one, we may try to bargain with God – as in, “bring them back and I’ll be perfect forever”. Promising to God that we will be a better person is a good thing… unless it puts unrealistic or impossible expectations on ourselves or others.
 
Depression is a process of acknowledging and processing the fact that the actual event really happened… and that our lives are irrevocably changed as a result. This is a time for honoring our loved ones and what’s been lost. In it’s best form, when perceived from a sense of conscious awareness of the purpose of life, depression blooms into gratitude for the blessings we experienced.
Holding onto our sorrows as a crutch, however, can change depression from a healthy part of the grieving process into a clinical dysfunction.
 
Acceptance is a state of allowing ourselves to grow… and to heal, as you, simply in reading this, are showing that you are ready to do. One of the very best things you can do in your process is to partake of the pure, unconditional love that The Great Creator of All Things, has for you. Say yes to prayer. Yes to studying the holy scriptures. Yes to seeking solace at church. Yes to reaching out to friends and family. Yes to calling upon God in your darkest of hours. And yes to thanking God for grace… and peace.

Validation
I remember as a little child, upon learning something new, I’d be so amazed that I would run and tell whomever I could find about the amazing new thing I had learned.  If they ignored me, or brushed me off (yes, I was a chatterbox) I was not deterred… I’d simply go tell someone else… and someone else… and someone else… until finally, someone would look me in the eye, hear what I had to say, and agree with me that it was amazingly wonderful.  Then, with that validation, I was free to go on and learn something new.Compassion
In the same way, pure compassion validates the human experience.  “I’m so sorry for your loss,” can be the kindest thing to say – or to hear – when you’re in the depths of despair over a loss in your life.

But if you don’t have anyone you can reach out to for comfort, know this… that you have God-given capacity within your own heart and mind to send yourself some compassion for what you’ve been through. It’s perfectly okay for you to love yourself. And to accept the healing power of available to you simply by tuning in to Divine Love.

“I am so sorry for your loss”.  My prayer is that you will find it in your heart to forgive yourself and others for any imperfections in your relationship with them – and with those who have passed on. And that you can forgive them for leaving you. It has been said that some people come into our lives for a few moments, some for months, some for years, and some for a lifetime or longer.

Acknowledge truth of life, and of death… and “the truth will set you free”.
The truth is, that we are spiritual beings having a physical experience.
This world is not perfect, nor was it meant to be.
It was set up in a way to allow us to explore, and to grow, and to become closer to being our highest and best selves.
It is designed so that we can become more consciously aware of our power of choice, our ability to respond rather than react,and the power of love over fear.

 And the truth is, some of this life stuff hurts, and when you’re in the middle of it,
it can be very difficult to see your way out.

Some people give up. You have reached out.
You are choosing to live.
You have chosen life.
Therefore, life has chosen you.
I am excited to see what you make of it!!
 
Sending you blessings of hope, encouragement and love…
Jo Lyn
Permission Granted

Permission Granted

by | Jun 23, 2017 | Authentic Wholeness, Happiness, Intuitive Downloads, Jo Lyn's Blog, Personal Empowerment, Self Improvement, Spirituality | 0 comments

Permission Granted

Guidance received on May 23, 2017:
“You are hereby authorized to be all that you were meant to be,
to do all that you desire to do, and to create all that is in you to create.
This authority is vested in you by divine right from the Great Creator of All Things…”

I am enough.
I have healed enough.
I have cleared enough.
I know it.
God knows it.
My heart knows it.
I am ready.
And the universe is showing me how…

Across my desk a few weeks ago came a message from Jeff Goins, a writer’s coach,
entitled “Seven Ways to Power Up”. Jeff says:
1. Get out of your own way.
2. Filter out distractions vs your path.
3. Know who you really are.
4. Become discerning – ramp up your intuition.
5. Open up to new perspectives.
6. Respect yourself.
7. Be clear in your meaning, focus and purpose.

I realized that since my previous business life imploded,
I have been consciously working on all those things.
Jeff just outlined my process in seven succinct steps.
And I was nearly ready…
But I needed a number eight.
I needed one more thing…
I needed permission…
My own…
And God’s.

Years ago, when my outer world crashed, I lost my inner compass.
I lost my sense of who I was and what I was here to do.
I lost my sense of being valued in the world I lived in.
My sense of self-trust wavered.
Though my troubles were minuscule compared to some,
They were huge in my perspective.
When you’re in the middle of the pit of trauma and drama,
It can feel impossible to climb out.

Life is not an event, until it’s over.
While we’re still in human form, life is a process, a work in progress.
Stuff happens…
We change.
The world around us changes.
Sometimes it chews us up and spits us out.
Then we can choose.
Do we give up?
Quit?
Blame?
Cry?
Whine?
Turn inward?
Live small?
Well, maybe. Sometimes. Usually. Of course. YES. For a while, anyway.

As human’s it can take some time to process life events.
It’s natural to grieve what’s lost, especially when it was something we loved, sacrificed for, or identified with.
Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
We flail around in these stages of grief, resisting and processing change.
But “The only thing constant in this world is change.”

This world was not designed to be perfect – it was designed to provide opportunities for growth.
That’s why, “the poor will always be with us” – because something is always hitting the fan somewhere on this planet.
Whomever is rich one moment may be poor the next. Those in power now may be in disgrace later.
Those who are strong, wealthy and charitable, may experience devastating circumstances and become needy.
That’s why we are given guidance such as, “thou shalt not judge”, and “as I have loved you, love one another”.
The Great Creator knew we would need help, support, and comfort
to get through the tough stuff with our faith and hope intact or restored…
and we can do it – we can pass through this “vale of tears” and come out on the other side
more humble, teachable, grateful, accepting, allowing, peaceful,
and strong and passionate in our purpose.

It took me some time to wade through the pain and reorient to a new life situation.
What I had perceived as loss was simply a blessing – an opportunity to learn different life lessons,
though at first, I did not see it that way.
I learned that I had much spiritual cleansing to do, and I am grateful that the Spirit works gently and lovingly.
I am grateful for all the earth angels that helped me through my pain and back onto a divinely led path.
I have learned that when fully aligned with the divine, I can be at peace in the midst of chaos –
“in the world but not of the world”.
Peace gives rise to gratitude.  Gratitude empowers strength.
Strength inspires purpose. Purpose, fully lived, blooms into joy.
May we each become more whole, more of our best selves, and thus see life through new eyes.

“Permission Granted”, came the message. 
“You are hereby authorized to be all that you were meant to be,
to do all that you desire to do, and to create all that is in you to create.
This authority is vested in you by divine right from the Great Creator of All Things”

The message is clear.  We have been given permission from the Almighty,
the Great Creator of Heaven and Earth, to choose what we will be, and do, and have.
The power is in you to say yes to yourself.
I pray that you will be encouraged to choose life and light over darkness and despair.
Say yes to life, yes to love, and yes to living your gifts.

Blessings,
Jo Lyn

 

Unsolvable Problems

Unsolvable Problems

by | Aug 10, 2016 | Happiness, Jo Lyn's Blog, Life Transitions, Personal Empowerment | 4 comments

The Purpose of Unsolvable Problems

I didn’t do it.
I didn’t cause it.
I couldn’t control it.
It was bigger than me.
No matter what I did, I couldn’t fix it.

I had told God that I wanted a different life.
And that’s what I got.
But I didn’t like the chaos that ensued.

I wanted to keep the good things I had…
Family, faith, friends and financial support…
And my dream house, too, of course.
But I found out that to get a different life,
I had to let go of the one that I had.
Well, partly, anyway.

Denial.
Anger.
Bargaining.
Depression.

Those first four stages of grief dominated my life.
The struggle and resistance consumed my focus for seven years.
I could see the writing on the wall.
But I kept trying to fix it.
And I couldn’t.
It was bigger than me.

Why do bad things happen to good people?
My intent was good.
I thought my approach to living life was right.
I cared. I served. I gave. I worked.
But if I was so right,
Then why did the bad stuff happen?

Terrible
Horrible
No good
Very bad
Stuff.

The stress of it broke me.
It almost killed me.
And I wanted to leave this life and go elsewhere,
Because I thought my brokenness
Was burdensome to those I loved.

But their love kept me here.
And gave me the courage
To let go of the fighting
And to seek understanding
Of why bad things happen to good people.

And I learned
To shift my focus
From what I didn’t want
To what I did want.
And to lead with my heart
Instead of my ego.
To give it to God,
And to lean on the Lord.

Acceptance.
In this last stage of grieving
Comes the healing.

I didn’t do it.
I didn’t cause it.
I couldn’t control it.
It was bigger than me.
And no matter what I did, I couldn’t fix it.
Until I could.

I gained a new perspective
And began to align with The Divine.
I stopped resisting the loss of what had been,
And began accepting what was.

And then the doors began to open.
I allowed the needed changes,
And my joy in life returned.

Accepting.
Allowing.
Receiving.
Rejoicing.

Authentic Healing is possible,
And it’s easier than we may think.

The purpose of an unsolvable problem
Is to turn our hearts to God.
Because With God, All Things are Possible,
And therein,
Is the solution to the problem.

It is time
To Align
With the Divine.

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you.
The joy has only just begun.
– Jo Lyn Cornelsen

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