Releasing Old Resentments

Releasing Old Resentments

Releasing Old Resentments

I experienced a “storm” of physical pain a few days ago…
I worked on clearing as much trapped emotional energy as I could, and awoke this morning knowing someone else I needed to forgive…for their actions of harshness and disrespect toward me about 11 years ago…
which caused me excessive emotional, financial and professional pain and distress…

This was someone I trusted by virtue of a position of church authority and their medical profession…
Someone who sought me out for my professional knowledge and skills,
Who would not allow his wife to provide the needed care for his father
who was suffering from severe dementia…
(urine soaked socks in the pantry, aggravated Sundowners syndrome, packing his belonging to leave every evening, wandering away and more…)
But this man (my client’s son) thought nothing of imposing it all upon me,
as if he was doing me a favor by allowing me to slave 24/7
and expecting cut rate pricing by virtue of our church association.

Long story short…
I “made it through that rain”…
It was an experience of compassion for the client,
and of setting boundaries with someone in “authority”
(even though I was scared)
Of standing up for myself and insisting on payment…
but I was left with a bitter taste in my mouth –
great disillusionment and loss of respect for this person,
who was so greatly revered in his church position.
This occurred so long ago I thought I had cleared it.
I haven’t thought of it in years, as both they and we have moved,
and this person is no longer in my local church community.
So I thought it was gone and forgotten…
Yet apparently, resentment remained stuck in my energy field.
And this morning,
my soul revealed it to me.

I must forgive.
Yes.
I don’t want to forgive.
I know.
He hurt me.
I know.
He shouldn’t have done that.
I know.
He scared me.
I know.
He was in the wrong.
I know.
He disrespected me.
I know.
He treated me abominably.
I know.
He treated me like shit.
I know.
He respected and protected his wife’s sensibilities,
but did not respect me.
I know.
He did not value my professional skills.
I know.
He was horrible to me.
I know.
I no longer respect him.
I know.
Do I have to respect him?
No.
Have I forgiven him?
No.
Is there any reason why should I forgive him?
For yourself.
For your own healing.
But I don’t know how to do it.
When I think of him I get a taste of bitter gall in my throat.
I want to vomit.
I know.
Will I feel better if I forgive him and let go of the resentments?
Yes.
Has this hidden, forgotten resentment been blocking my healing?
Yes
Can I let it go now?
Yes.
I’m not sure how…
Do I let it go just like I let go of any other old blocked emotion?
Yes…..
Ok… here goes…
Thank you, thank you, thank you…
It is done, it is done, it is done.
Interestingly –
I got up, dressed, walked to the car, drove to the gym, did an hour of water aerobics, came home safely without struggle..
and all without pain.
If forgiveness works this well…
I shall be searching my soul for more that needs to be forgiven.
Thank you for witnessing my blessing…

Next Day’s Morning Meditation:

Shards and Shrouds…

Releasing Old Resentments yesterday opened a floodgate for more. This morning, did some basic full body presence breathing and a body scan. There were a few gentle pressures – back of my neck and top of my shoulders, and my feet and calves – that needed underlying ancestral emotions released (1 generation back – my dear sweet mother)…
Easily released by identifying and releasing the underlying trapped emotion of ancestral confusion…. many instances….
Thank you…

Breathing…
There is something else…

I intuitively scanned with my golden energy sieve and pulled out some sharp energy shards.
Do I need to know what these are?
No. Just rejoice that they are gone.
Thank you.

Is it time to get up now?
No
Great – I get to relax more and breathe.
Yes.

Moments later:

Is there more resentment buried inside me somewhere that needs to be released?
Yes
Is there an underlying reason for it?
Yes
Do I need to know more about it?
No
How do I release it? Like I release other trapped emotions?
No
Do I polish it away with Compassion?
No
Do I just reach in and pull it out of me?
Yes
And give it to God?
Yes

In my mind’s eye, I imagined reaching my left hand into my soul heart space, grabbing hold of the energy of resentment, and pulling out of me…
It came out as a diaphanous grayish orb …
about 10 inches in diameter…
I opened my hand and it sat there a while on my palm….
Then it changed, shifting into a life sized, human body shape of translucent energy –

I had pulled out a whole energy shroud…
as if the resentment had resided inside me as an cognizant being… a separate entity of its own….

And then it was gone.
No pain.
Just a lightness of spirit.

Did it go to you, God?
Yes.
Is there more?
No
Thank you.

Breathing…
May I receive more of your golden divine light now?
Yes

Breathing in the light.

Now… is it time to get up?
Yes.

Thank you, thank you, thank you….
Dear Soul Friends…
For letting me share my meditations with you.

Our Eternal Family Circle

Our Eternal Family Circle

Our Eternal Family Circle

In the wee hours of the morning
I awoke
And the questions came…

Are there offensive entities attacking our family?
Yes…

Long story short,
I used the process I learned in the Temple
And in The Body Code
And my Sacred Spiritual Gifts
And cast these offensive energies,
Evil spirits, curses, and saboteurs
Away from us and to the light
Where they are accountable before God.

I asked that sentinel Angels stand guard around us,
protecting us from evil influences…

And downloaded more light and love from God
To fill all the quantum spaces where they had been hiding…

So who were they, and what were they trying to do?
They were Legions of Evil Spirits…
Trying to stop us from loving one another…
Trying to break up the love and the joy we feel in our family…

Some came through the cracks of broken relationships…
Mistakes, hurt feelings, personal struggles and fears…
Expanding the distances between our hearts through pride in its many forms.

Others jump to us or attach to the auras around us
From neighbors houses….
From workplaces…
From any place they can leap from…
Heckling and mocking…
At the chance to destroy an otherwise eternal family….
All with the desire to stop us from loving one another.

Blessedly, in my meditative work,
I recognize the offensive infestations and send them to the Light,
To be accountable before God.
Sometimes I weary in this well doing…
But I manage to keep going as-long-as is needed….

Are they gone?
Yes
Did they go to the Light?
Yes.
Can I rest now?
Yes

This quiet battle is over…
But the war still wages on…
And our eternal happiness together will be the prize if we can win….

Inside our own family is the key to our salvation.
Can we lay down our pride
And misunderstandings
And fears…

And pick up the olive branch of forgiveness
And kindness
And trust…

And just love one another?
Let us seek to heal our wounds from the inside out…
To stop resisting the lessons life shows us daily
And open to allowing a greater measure of
The Pure Love of Christ,
The Blessings from God the Father
and The Whispering of the Holy Spirit
To permeate our souls with joy…
And kindness…
Repentance…
Forgiveness…
And Love.

Look within.
Seek the Light.
Love One Another.

Sending each of us bounteous blessings of Love…
From Me…
And from our Guardian Angels
(Those who wake me up to do this work).

Love One Another

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