The Purpose of Unsolvable Problems

I didn’t do it.
I didn’t cause it.
I couldn’t control it.
It was bigger than me.
No matter what I did, I couldn’t fix it.

I had told God that I wanted a different life.
And that’s what I got.
But I didn’t like the chaos that ensued.

I wanted to keep the good things I had…
Family, faith, friends and financial support…
And my dream house, too, of course.
But I found out that to get a different life,
I had to let go of the one that I had.
Well, partly, anyway.

Denial.
Anger.
Bargaining.
Depression.

Those first four stages of grief dominated my life.
The struggle and resistance consumed my focus for seven years.
I could see the writing on the wall.
But I kept trying to fix it.
And I couldn’t.
It was bigger than me.

Why do bad things happen to good people?
My intent was good.
I thought my approach to living life was right.
I cared. I served. I gave. I worked.
But if I was so right,
Then why did the bad stuff happen?

Terrible
Horrible
No good
Very bad
Stuff.

The stress of it broke me.
It almost killed me.
And I wanted to leave this life and go elsewhere,
Because I thought my brokenness
Was burdensome to those I loved.

But their love kept me here.
And gave me the courage
To let go of the fighting
And to seek understanding
Of why bad things happen to good people.

And I learned
To shift my focus
From what I didn’t want
To what I did want.
And to lead with my heart
Instead of my ego.
To give it to God,
And to lean on the Lord.

Acceptance.
In this last stage of grieving
Comes the healing.

I didn’t do it.
I didn’t cause it.
I couldn’t control it.
It was bigger than me.
And no matter what I did, I couldn’t fix it.
Until I could.

I gained a new perspective
And began to align with The Divine.
I stopped resisting the loss of what had been,
And began accepting what was.

And then the doors began to open.
I allowed the needed changes,
And my joy in life returned.

Accepting.
Allowing.
Receiving.
Rejoicing.

Authentic Healing is possible,
And it’s easier than we may think.

The purpose of an unsolvable problem
Is to turn our hearts to God.
Because With God, All Things are Possible,
And therein,
Is the solution to the problem.

It is time
To Align
With the Divine.

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you.
The joy has only just begun.
– Jo Lyn Cornelsen